


Shadow of Regrets

by ebonyXivory777



Series: Time travel Vader [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Jedi Council - Freeform, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Strained Friendships, Time Travel Fix-It, Unbeta'd, recovering sith lord
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-22 07:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 33,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30035205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ebonyXivory777/pseuds/ebonyXivory777
Summary: Life no longer has a meaning when everything you love is violently ripped apart from you. If you were given a second chance for something you could not possibly imagine ever coming true, would you take it, or cast it aside to forever think what if...
Relationships: Darth Sidious & Darth Vader, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala & Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Series: Time travel Vader [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2209485
Comments: 49
Kudos: 90





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guy! (Waves a hand). This was a fict I have been working on for a good decade before I decided that I wanted it to be on AO3 with my other ficts that I'm transferring on here. Take a look at this and see if you like the read. I literally started this story back in 2011, so it's been a long time that I've been working on it. It will be completed soon as I have been working on the last 10-15 chapters. Enjoy!

Silence surrounded the imposing figure above. He stance tall, confident, and full of authority. Encased in all black, this man was not one to be trifled with. The dark lord Vader, Sith apprentice, and right hand man to the emperor instilled fear across the galaxy with his presence alone.

In the dim corridors of the massive ship Exactor, the lone Sith stood absently starring out into the vast emptiness of space; It was somehow calming to him. Being in such silence and emptiness was rare these days. Such times always made the Sith brood to himself of thoughts he admittingly did not want to remember. Memories and feeling of places and moments that existed in a different life time, with a different man.

It had been fifteen years since the rise of the empire that he had helped to create. Fifteen long, painful and lonely years. The different emotions welling up inside the Sith frustrated him, as he shook away all lingering thoughts away. It was painful enough to remember such heartache, even more so, the vicious way he attacked his beloved... _his_ angel. such times as these always made him think _what if..._ they also reminded him all too well of his teaching and punishments as the way of the Sith.

_"these thoughts and feeling, lord Vader are a sign of weakness" the Sith master spat. "you'd best rid yourself of such patheticness. A Sith only knows anger, pain, fear! love and regret are not ways of the Sith, it makes you weak!" a deadly bolt of Sith lightning then struck the bowed figure in front of his master. "A Sith will never regret their actions, what we do is absolute! remember that Lord Vader."_

_"yes...my master" the wounded man gasped in pain._

Forcing back such emotions and memories, Vader composed himself once more into the cool and collected figure he was deemed to be. He had a meeting to make, and like all other appointments, he did not want to be late. Turning to the face the end of the corridor, he set a brisk walk towards the conference room.

As he passed by the various sectors of the ship, many officers eyes widened and tried their best to stay out of the Sith's way. Vader could sense their fear oozing out when his presence was announced. After fifteen years of such behavior, he was use to this reaction by the men. In fact, it encourage him, for it gave him more power from the dark side to be surrounded by those who hated and feared you.

As Vader walked into the conference room, other men from different governing sectors were already assembling inside. Judging by the people present he could tell this was not going to be a pleasant meeting, but then again when was there anything pleasant these days?

* * *

It took all of Vader's inner strength not to throw the arrogant man as hard as he could against the wall, be it manually or via the force.

How could this be! it was not fair! it was him who was the one who had managed to thwart the persistent rebellion, it was him who was the right hand man, second most powerful in the galaxy next to the emperor, and this was the treatment he was getting! It should have been him who should have gotten control of the Death Star, but no, oh no; it was that damn arrogant, insufferable _Tarkin_ who had gotten the mantle for such power.

_What is the emperor thinking!_ Vader fumed. Thoughts of killing Tarkin erupted through Vader's mind once again. Oh, Vader did not have a problem at all with killing people, he had even earned a reputation for it; it was because that damn man was favored by the emperor that stopped him in his tracks at the last moment.

He wanted to contact the emperor immediately, but knew that a session such as that would not favor him one bit. Fuming, the Sith headed towards his private sanctuary.

By now, the officers on board knew the man called Vader to be an enigma, but they knew him well enough to know not to be anywhere within a five meter radius if he was angry, and boy was he pissed.

Heading for his hyperbaric chamber, Vader was glad to have a lone moment to himself without the blasted mask on. Breathing in the oxygen enriched environment, Vader finally let himself succumb to the weary, tired man he was, not the Sith lord who always stood proud and attentive. Sighing once more, Vader proceeded to check his messages and was frustrated to see one from the emperor himself. Scanning over the details, Vader was sent into an even darker mood by the upcoming news.

The emperor himself was coming for the inspection of the Death star and demanded Vader's presence to meet him there within the next day, at o'eleven hundred hours. checking the time, Vader's already sour mood plummeted, threatening him to break any object available within reach. It would be almost impossible to reach the Death star before the emperor arrived.

_The blasted man can never send a message in advance...always doing what the hell he wants, whenever he wants..._ But he was the emperor, and unfortunately, there was no one who could put a stop to that.

Sighing even longer this time, Vader set his helmet back on before heading towards the bridge where he then barked the command of the ship's next destination at full speed.

_We had better get there on time_ thought Vader darkly. Still left frustrated with the assignment of the death Star and the arrival of the emperor, the thought of tormenting the ship's crew members was an inviting one, but decided against it at the last moment. The men were under enough pressure after being given the newest set of orders; the last thing he wanted was to have a lack of efficiency because of himself.

With another inward sigh, Vader looked out towards the vast space beyond the ship's glass once more to calm himself.

**_**Anakin...** _ **

Vader tilted his head ever so slightly to the side wondering if her had heard correctly.

**_**Anakin...** _ **

This time Vader spun around and scanned his surroundings, only to see the normalcy of his working men trying their best not to catch the Sith's attention. Aside from the men in the bridge, there was nothing in particular that seemed out of place.

_All this blasted stress is making me delusional_ Vader cursed inwardly.

Thinking through, he finally decided that a bit of rest wouldn't hurt as he once again headed towards his hyperbaric chamber. Upon entering the room where his chamber laid, Vader immediately noticed a man in the room. More specifically, a man wearing traditional Jedi robes.

At once Vader's lightsaber was in his hand, and activated within moments.

"How did one such as you get inside, Jedi?" Vader demanded, his voice reaching a menacing growl.

the man at first did not respond which made Vader very tempted to just cut him down on the spot, but then he did turn, shocking Vader to the core.

"Qui-Gon?"

The one time master of the Sith, from many years ago looked at Vader and gave a small, sad smile.

"Hello, Anakin."

"How? Why are you here?" then Vader's stature stood a little taller as his voice took a new tone "what trick is this, jedi? you cannot fool me, with your petty, little mind games. The man you disguised yourself has been long dead, and you shall soon join him."

Raising his weapon high above his head, Vader slashed down at the figure, then just stared.

The attack did nothing to the man, in fact, it passed right through him. it was then that Vader finally noticed that the man was a bit...off. There was a light blue hue surround the him, and from what Vader could tell, there was no living presence he felt earlier, nor now.

"As you can see, this is no trick" Qui-Gon gestured with a sway of his hands quite calmly.

'Wha-" Vader began.

"I am dead, or more specifically, am not bound to this world anymore. And yes, I am Qui-Gon Jin, the jedi you met so many years ago."

"Then how?" questioned Vader at once. The Sith was becoming more and more agitated and confused by the second.

"The force" the celestial Jedi stated simply. "I have learnt the way to be one with the force, and it has granted me a chance to speak with you."

Both men then stood opposite of each other in silence, one patiently waiting, the other trying to rationalize the situation. Finally, after a long pregnant silence, Vader spoke slowly.

"it seems that you have proven yourself, otherwise." Vader said while thinking back to how his blade passed through the man.

The ethereal jedi nodded the slightest bit. " I assume you have many questions on this matter."

"Only one, why me, a Sith? Shouldn't you be trying to save the remaining pitiful jedi that are left?" Vader replied sardonically. Then a thought hit him. "Don't tell me your trying to convince me to seek the light, or abandon the dark side. If you are, you're just wasting your time."

"Are you really happy with the dark side?" asked Qui-Gon.

A sound close to that of a snort emitted from Vader. "happiness does not matter, compared to the power I possess."

"And are you satisfied with all this power" Qui-Gon questioned again.

"yes" replied Vader curtly. "are you quite done."

"Have you ever regretted your choice to of being a Sith?"

At those words, Vader's heart began to throb with dull remorse. His mind so very close to thinking _what ifs_

**_**NO**_** he thought. _A Sith deals in absolutes..._

"A Sith regrets nothing". Growing tired of all the pointless questioning, Vader snapped " If the force has granted you power to visit the world of the living, is asking me petty questions all that is left of you?"

The jedi did not say a thing, but just stood and closed his eyes as if in meditation. Growing tired of such a fruitless conversation, Vader turned towards his chamber once more. Only then did Qui-Gon speak, his word so unexpected, that they froze Vader on the spot.

"Do you miss her?"

"I do not know who you are talking about." Vader stated in a tone that demanded silence.

"Padme, your wife." The jedi said as he opened his eyes. At once memories the Sith tried so hard to suppress came gushing forth, nearly crippled him. "Or is she not worth of remembrance, just as how you had casted aside the jedi and your former life? If that is so, I am disappointed, Anakin, I thought she meant more to you."

Anger radiated through every pore of the Sith, as fury blinded him. Already dead or not, Vader did not care. The man deserved to die for saying such a thing. The nerve! How could he even suggest it.

Turning around with vehemence, Vader seethed "How dare you! First you invade my private sanctuary, then you hinder me with worthless questions, but to have audacity to say such a thing..." the room slowly began to shake. "you can insult me all you want, but don't you dare degrade Padme! she was everything to me, my life, my soul...my angel. How could you even suggest such a thing!"

"So you do regret your choice" Qui-Gon said simply.

"WHAT DO YOU KNOW!" Vader screamed. The room started to shake more violently.

"calm down Anakin. I was merely asking you a question. I am not degrading Padme in any way. I just wanted to know the truth."

"What truth?" Vader scorned.

"About how you truly feel"

"I-" Vader began, but was cut off.

"If you had a choice to undo all that has passed these fifteen years, would you?"

"It does not matter if I want to or not" The Sith said bitterly. "What is done is done. There is no undoing of anything of any kind...I will forever live with the choice that I have made, whether it was right or wrong."

"There is a choice, Anakin."

A bitter laugh escaped from Vader " No there isn't, there never was."

Qui-Gon smiled sadly "there is always a choice"

"Then it is apparent that I made the wrong one...as I have always had."

"it is still not too late-"

"Enough! I have had it with your insistent questioning. Leave. Now."

"Anak-"

"NOW!"

The Jedi just looked sadly at the Sith, then disappeared.

Exhaling loudly, Vader stood for a moment, then turned and headed back into his chamber. Try as hard as he may, the Dark Lord could not rid himself of the Jedi's last few words.

_it is not too late..._


	2. A choice

Immediately after the ramp of the landing shuttle of the transporting ship touched the ground, he was out.

He was late. Very late, at least according to the emperor. As fast and calm seeming as he could, the Dark lord Vader set a hard stride towards his destination. Towards his awaiting and very upset master.

There he stood, amongst all the glory the storm troopers were in their white shining armor, looking as deadly and efficient as they were born to be. The emperor from far seemed to be composed and steady in his wake, but up close, Vader could see the Sith master seething.

At once Vader was on the ground, head bowed in his practiced position of servitude.

"Ah, Lord Vader, so good of you to finally join us." the tone of the Sith was definitely not one of happiness or contentment.

"Apologies, my Master. The orders were given on such short notice." Vader explained.

At hearing this the Sith Master's eyes flared in anger. Vader did not mean for his explanation to seem as if he was bemoaning, but inside he truly was. It was not his fault that his tardiness should be faulted to him; the orders were so sudden it was impossible to be met on time.

"Well, it is such a pity that one like yourself could not reach such expectations" he emperor sneered. Vader could read in between the lines, there would be punishment later, one that he did not truly deserve.

But the Sith Lord could only bow to the man and loathe him on the inside. Without waiting a second longer, the emperor turned and headed towards the direction of the meeting that was about to take place.

Silently, Vader stood, then proceeded to follow his master. The Emperor was making it apparent that he was dissatisfied with Vader's tardiness by ignoring him completely, which Vader was completely fine with. He already hated being within an arm's reach of the emperor, speaking to him more than necessary was just repulsive.

As the duo neared the meeting chamber, Vader could see another man he hated to the core. Tarkin. There he was standing tall and proud, with the most annoying look of satisfaction while he looked at Vader as if he were a lesser being. The sith lord knew that Tarkin knew he was in trouble with the emperor, and the fact that that made the man look as if Vader was just another pathetic lackey made his blood boil in fury.

At the corner of his eye, the Sith lord could see the emperor smiling maliciously; he had felt the anger and frustration of Vader and it delighted the emperor to no end. This made Vader even more pissed off. Today was definitely not a pleasant day.

"I see that you have finally arrived, lord Vader. When you did not arrive in time I thought that something terrible might have happened." Tarkin said formally with the right amount of concern, but Vader knew this was a taunt as sarcasm was laced with those words.

To Vader's growing agitation, the emperor simply chose to ignore this as he proceeded into the meeting chambers to discuss the latest news and updates of the Death Star. Just the thought of the magnificent battle station irked Vader. Why did Tarkin assume the power over it anyway?

As all the members of the conference gathered together and took at seat, the meeting commenced.

"Now as you all have heard, the new battle station has now been completed. The new pride and symbol of the power of the empire!" the Emperor exclaimed proudly with a smile so malicious, the surrounding members of the meeting did not want to know the meaning behind such eerie joy. He then gestured to Tarkin. "The new commander of the station."

Tarkin bowed graciously to the Emperor and briefly glanced at Vader riling the Sith Lord. Force, Vader wanted to kill the man. "you are most kind, your majesty for placing such a magnificent force to be reckoned with in my care." The emperor only nodded in acknowledgment. Again Tarkin gave the briefest of glances at Vader.

The members of the room could practically feel the tension and anger rolling off the Sith Lord. But alas, he could do nothing, at least nothing in the vicinity of the Emperor. The emperor could only continue to smile, he mood gleeful to the amount that Vader was suffering in silence.

The Tarkin continued with his speech. "as you all know, The battle station know as the Death Star is the single strongest weapon to ever be created. Such a power is only fit by the ranks of the Empire. The main fire power of this weapon is able to destroy planets, the first of its kind. the defenses are impenetrable, as well as its smaller attack units. it will be up and operational within the next standard month." turning directly to the emperor Tarkin used his most humble facade. "I will ensure immediately after the station is completed, the menial rebellion will be dealt with swiftly and efficiently ****as it should have been long ago**** " each word was carefully punctuated at the end of the sentence. even the most oblivious officer in the meeting knew who it was directed to. "They will no longer hinder the Empire as it should have been in the beginning."

"good" was the only reply that the emperor gave. It seemed that that was praise worthy enough. It seemed that the not so subtle insult towards Vader was dismissed as if it were a insignificant thing. In this case, it was. Smiling as if he had accomplished a great feat (in which Riling up Vader had been) Tarkin settled himself into his seat as the rest of the meeting took place.

* * *

The minute the meeting was over, Vader wanted out. But he would do it as dignified as he could. Just as he was about to reach the exit, the cold, dead voice of the Emperor invaded.

"Ah, Vader, such a satisfying meeting, is it not?" Force, Vader hated this man with everything. Sometimes he didn't know how he could stand being in the same room as the man who ruined his life. The man who had taken everything precious to him in the worst way possible. By making him do it himself.

"Quite" ever the man with few words, Vader gave a curt reply. The emperor then flashed an angry glare towards Vader's direction and started to walk away accompanied by his royal red guards. Just as he was passing Vader, he whispered chillingly "we are not done yet, meet me in my quarters after you are done with your tasks, Vader" His name was spat in disgust.

Vader was definitely in trouble. but all he could reply was "yes, master."

Without another word the emperor left, but in his wake appeared Tarkin. As He turned, he smirked which was unfortunate as it made Vader's hair of a temper snap. He headed towards Tarkin in a fast almost violent stride. Feeling and seeing the fear on Tarkin face helped quench the ever growing anger marginally, but Vader wanted so much more. It was lucky for Vader and most unfortunate to Tarkin than the remaining occupants had quickly fled as soon as possible to avoid any confrontation of the two.

"You look a little pale, Tarkin. What seems to be the matter" Vader spat the last sentence with as much malice us as possible. it was proven fruitful when it Tarkin appeared to be visibly sweating.

"You know you can't touch me." He decided to get straight to the point. The truth frustrated the Vader but he didn't want Tarkin getting that last word in.

"True, as unfortunate as it seems. But know this. You won't always hold the emperor's favor for long." he explained as if chiding a child, almost gently, only it was terrifying coming from the Sith lord. "But one of these days, you will fail and he will to forget you. When that times comes." But Vader left it at that and walked briskly to leave. just as he neared to corner, The Sith stopped abruptly and looked over his shoulder, "you better watch your back," then left a very stunned and pale Commander of the Death Star.

* * *

_This is it_ Vader thought has he gave an inward sigh as he stopped in front of the Emperor's chambers. _This is not going to be pretty..._

He entered the room.

As was the rest of the Emperor's favored environment, the room was dimly lit and extravagantly furnished. In his usual position sat the man himself on a overly extravagant chair he would most certainly claim his throne.

At once, he the apprentice bow and kneeled to his master.

"Master" Vader said

Silence only echoed the room and the Emperor merely observed his apprentice. Then he smirked grimly.

"It seems you are quite dissatisfied with ****My**** orders. Do explain"

It took a moment for Vader to calculate a response. "No, my Lord...It just seems inadequate for a man of Tarkin's caliber to...assume command of such an asset of the Empire."

Vader knew he shouldn't have spoke his opinion when pain so powerful in the form of Sith lightning struck him, it momentarily rendered him unable to breathe. Then as sudden as it started, it stopped.

"You. Dare. Question. ****My****. Judgment." When Vader did not respond to this fast enough, he was struck once again. It took all of Vader's will power combined with the Force to stop him from outwardly screaming in agony.

He collapsed on the floor when the emperor was satisfied with the amount of pain Vader was in. Vader didn't know if he should think himself lucky because he was punished severely less because of the suit he was forced to wear for life. Because of it, too much Sith lightning would short-circuited his respiratory functions which would kill him. But that didn't mean there were other ways to make sure he suffered. This was just one that the Emperor enjoyed the most.

"The reason for giving Tarkin such a position is that he bring results. results which are satisfying. What have you have to offer, Vader?" the Emperor asked eerily calm. When Vader didn't answer the emperor continued. "Exactly, Nothing! It has taken you years, ****Years**** to find and destroy the rebellion, yet they are still here." With a exaggerated sigh of disappointment Sith continued. "if you cannot make it in time for such an important meeting, then what is the use of giving you such power."

Another blast of lightning hit Vader squarely in the chest, and then he couldn't breathe properly. His control panel had smoke starting to rise. With a look of deep regret and disgust, the Emperor ceased his assault and could only look at Vader with undisguised contempt.

"Such weakness, it is pathetic. You are a failure in life. You failed to save your mother, you failed the Jedi, You failed saving your wife-" each failure stabbed at his heart as if it was a blunt knife, but when it came to the failure of his wife, Vader could not bear to get up and resemble what was left of his dignity. "-and you fail as a Sith." the emperor barked a laugh "look at you, you're not even a real person. You will always be nothing. Born a slave, die a slave."

With this his signaled to his red guards to take Vader away. as Vader was being dragged the Guards, The emperor's cruel voice rung in the distance "You need me, Vader. And you shall forever live to serve me."

Thankfully, the guards used a secret passage that led right to Vader's chambers. It saved the scrapes of dignity left in Vader. As they arrived to his chamber, they unceremoniously dumped him, without any care onto the ground. Vader could only grunt in pain, but if it had been any other time, he would have killed them all without hesitation for such callous treatment. The left immediately after that, which seemed like the only thankful thing Vader could think of today.

Using the last of his waning strength, Vader dragged himself the best he could to his hyperbaric chamber, his only sanctuary.

Finally what seemed like hours, but only in actually fact minutes, he was in. He could breathe properly again. The oxygen rich environment filling his lungs with delicious air. aching all over, Vader looked down to see his panel close to fried.

Too tired to shout in anger he could only set out to fix his only means of survival. As much as he didn't want to, whether it was how tired and hurt he was, he had to fix it. The last thing he wanted to experience more pain because of his absence if he was called for and couldn't make it because of his situation.

* * *

_A few hours later..._

finally completing the task, Vader tested his suit by stepping out of his sanctuary. With relief, the Sith could breathe normally again. Even as they were artificial, Vader could feel the ache and pain that radiated off his body and where his stumps of what was left were connected to his fake limbs.

Force he was tired, all he wanted to do was sleep, and maybe if he was lucky enough never wake up. but it was only wishful thinking, he didn't have the courage to kill himself even if the change was given to him. The will to live was too strong, as well as his regret. but alas, he would forever be encased in his own prison of pain and regret as the suit was a symbol of all he had failed to do; What he had to suffer forever emotionally and physically.

As he remember all that his master had said, he could only angrily accept the truth, he was a failure. At everything. This was the price to pay.

His mother...the Jedi... _his angel_...Everything

"Anakin" a familiar voice said.

Vader spun so fast, he almost visible flinch from the recent onslaught he had endured earlier.

"Are you alright?" Qui-Gon questioned with concern. Beyond tired and irritated with the events of what occurred today, Vader just wanted peace, no matter how small. The appearance of the ethereal Jedi did not help matters.

Vader wished once again that he could strike the Jedi where he stood, but he could not kill a man that was already dead, much less get rid of him.

"Go away" Vader snapped.

"You are in pain Anakin, let me help."

"There is nothing you can do. much less one as yourself. leave me be."

"I wasn't taking about physical pain, Anakin."

"STOP CALLING ME THAT! THAT MAN IS DEAD!"

" If he is dead, then why does he still mourn what he was lost?"

"Just...Just leave me alone." Vader didn't have the energy to argue with the former Jedi.

"I am just here to help. You are in pain... let me help you."

"what could you possibly do?" Vader said whispering, but the mask made it sound menacing and cold.

"Like I said before, there is always a choice."

Signing with weariness and exasperation Vader could only replied, "don't you get it, there is nothing! absolutely nothing left for me! There is no choice, the one I have picked...I will forever be burdened to carry. I had that choice a long time ago, I screwed up...nothing can change that."

"Have faith, Anakin."

"For what..." Vader asked wearily.

"There is always a choice." the Qui-Gon stated again.

"How many times mus-"

"I will ask you again, Anakin. Please answer this truthfully. If you had a choice to undo all that has passed these fifteen years, would you?"

Vader was a second away from snapping the same reply, but stopped at the last minute.

"Yes...it is the only thing I have wished for the past...fifteen years."

The celestial Jedi smiled softly. "it is possible."

wha-, How? what is done is done"

"Trust in the force Anakin, anything is possible. The reason why I came to you, is because the force has deemed you to have another chance to fix your mistakes. Do you accept?"

Vader could only stare dumbstruck. A second chance in life! Thoughts raced through Vader's mind, so many making his head ache at the intensity of the rush of thoughts.

_I could kill the emperor...I wouldn't have to be in this suit any longer..._ but the last thought struck him hard.

_My angel...I can see her again..._

It was too good to be true. "Are you sure this is not some trick, Jedi" but deep inside he could see the truth, it was just so unbelievable.

"I think you already know the answer to that."

With a deep shuddering breath, Vader nodded. 'I want to go back...I want to change all the wrongs I have done, it would kill me knowing I could have done something and dismissed it. I want to do this."

a genuine smile lit the former Jedi's face as he nodded in approval "good luck."

All of a sudden, Vader felt something wrong. His heart felt as though it was being ripped out of his chest. he lost all control of his limbs. he couldn't breathe properly. The pain was excruciating.

Compared with the Emperor's Sith lightning punishment, that seemed like a love tap compared to this. There wasn't even any breath or strength left for Vader to scream in pain.

His vision was blurring as he dropped to the ground. with a hand outstretched, Vader sought out the qui-Gon with his fading vision.

"Wha...ha..ve..you...do..ne..."

Then everything went black.


	3. Confusion

There was no noise, nothing but darkness, He could feel nothing. Here, dormant in the abyss of darkness, Vader felt peace. There was no numbing pain, pain that was constant ever since his birth as Darth Vader. No master that taunted and degraded him at every turn he could. No shackles of servitude.

It felt good.

For the first time Vader felt like he was free.

It was then, though, that reality seemed to be cruel yet again in wanting him back. It pulled on his very being, dragging him from his peace and serenity.

Vader did not want that.

Fight as he may, Vader was powerless to stop this ever growing force that thrust him upon awakening.

It was first just a gently buzzing. A ringing so faint, as if wind was passing through calm meadows. Moments later, the ringing became much more intense. Ever so slowly, the faint muffles of shouting could be heard.

_Shouting? Who is shouting_? Vader thought to himself.

The noise started to become more distinct and clear.

_...Why can't they leave me alone..._ The abyss felt good. Why must he return?

It was now then that the faint shouting started to make sense.

"G-..."

_What?_

It came again

"Gen-..."

Vader was getting frustrated. Not only was this fool disrupting his peace, but he couldn't even make sense throughout all this haze.

Finally giving in to the constant pull, Vader's heavy eyelid pried open oh so slowly, shutting immediately from the intense light and heat from exposure. Why was his mask off?

_Wait, heat?_ Since when did ships in space have such intense heat, it should have been the complete opposite. Another fact suddenly struck him...why could he see such bright lights? It didn't make sense, his suite and optical augments had made sure that his crippled sight could only see his shell of a life in various shades of red. Maybe his underlings had found his injuries to be far more life-threatening then they seemed.

_That damn Qui-Gon...I should have never believed in such far-fetched lies._

The blasted late jedi had made it a point to not only bring up old wounds, but to instill a flicker of hope that he could have done something different, have his old life back. It some ways, that was worse than all the ridicule and punishments the emperor could have ever instill upon him.

Reluctant as he was, Vader forced his heavy eyelids open once more, albeit more slowly than the last time. The sudden light brought tears to his eyes, but he kept them opened. It was all one big mass of a blur, and shockingly enough, a blur that was clearly not in only red.

_Is that...green I see?_ It had been years since Vader have gazed upon another color besides his limited black, red, and in his hyperbaric chamber, blue and white. something was definitely wrong.

The muffled cries of the shouts Vader had heard earlier were coming back now and with much more clarity.

"Gener-"

_gener-what?_

This time it made sense.

"General!"

Why was this person calling for a general Vader thought in confusion. He tilted his head ever so slightly to the side to see the suit of a stormtrooper.

Why was a stormtrooper calling him general? _Wait a minute_... Vader did a double-take on the trooper to notice one small thing. The soldier clearly looked like a trooper, he sounded like one too, but the unsettling thing was why he was wearing the armor of a **_**clone**_** and not of a stormtrooper. That armor had to be at least fifteen years old.

All of a sudden, it was like something snapped, and the haze and unfocused confusion shattered.

Here in the midst of a cacophony was Vader, lying on the ground with a clone trooper constantly calling out to him.

"General! are you alright, sir?"

Dust shrouded the atmosphere, the bitterness of the air suffocating. The smell of sweat, blood and grime sickening to the stomach. Just to the right another explosion went off, sending the angry, unrelenting heat. Blaster bolts whizzed through the air, the shouts of battle, agony and death only added to the orchestra of war.

How in the seven sith hells did he end up here, in a battlefield?

He felt arms lifting him and hauling him to shelter. There a medic did a quick examination of him, flashing an annoying light into his eyes, constantly picking and prodding him. If Vader wasn't so out of it, this man would have likely to be in the midst of being strangled.

"General Skywalker, can you speak?"

How did this man know his name! It had been so long since someone had addressed him of that title fifteen years ago...

It was then that a realization struck him like an angry nexu. The color green turquoise of the surroundings, the blood, death and destruction was all unsettlingly similar to the battle of Christophis. Very disturbingly similar.

With cracked, dried lips, Vader managed to croak out "where are we?" A split second after he asked, Vader almost jolted from the sound of his voice. It was not the deep bass of the cybernetic sith known as Vader. It was the lighter tenor of the man once known as Anakin Skywalker. In deep shock, Vader struggled to get up, ignoring the protests of the medic. Roughly running his hand through his hair- _Wait, hair?_

As far as Vader had known, he did not have hair, at least not since that cursed day in Mufastar.

The medic and trooper who brought him in shared a worried look before the medic replied, "we're at Christophis, general. We've been fighting here for the last two weeks. The separatists ambushed our troops today. Do you not remember any of this, general?"

_The separatists! They've been gone for such a long time._

Qui-gon's words then rang out to him " _I will ask you again, Anakin. Please answer this truthfully. If you had a choice to undo all that has passed these fifteen years, would you?"_

Is this what he meant? Did the force actually bring him back to the past. It didn't seem possible, yet all the evidence was given.

Seeing as the medic and trooper were waiting for a response, he absently shook his head. Oh, he remembered _fifteen years ago_. Both looking relieved the trooper continued.

"Our defenses are weakening but reinforcements are arriving shortly. You took a nasty blow to the head when the droid tanks exploded. We're glad you're all right." The trooper's comm went off and he took a brief moment to answer to it then turned back to Vader. "Back up is here. General kenobi has arrived with them."

Immediately anger and rage shot through Vader so fast and intense, the thought of killing kenobi won over the need to rest and recuperate.

"Where is he?" vader asked with barely concealed rage. Both the clones were startled by the sudden change of their general's demeanor but answered his question.

"From what I heard, he has just entered the battlefield, sir. It will be a while before you can rendezvous up with him." The trooper replied.

"In the meantime, please use that time to rest, your injuries are not fatal, but you do have a slight concussion and I would advise you to-sir, please sit back down!"

But Vader would have none of that. Fifteen year had passed and now here Kenobi was. He would finally be able to extract his revenge after so long. Nothing would get in his way. If he had to kill a few clone in the process, then so be it.

The medic clone that came up in front of him was roughly pushed aside followed by a menacing "stay out of my way". With that, he dashed out into the open and was instantly in the midst of chaos. It was clear by the way the separatists were slowly drawing back that the republic was winning the brutal battle, but Vader could care less about that.

Right in the middle of the battle was Kenobi. Blue blade flashing brilliantly with the elegance of the master of soresu was Obi-wan Kenobi in all in glory...soon to be dead.

Using the force as a guide, Vader moved as swiftly as he could towards his intended target. His former mentor, master, brother and most of all friend who betrayed and tricked him to killing his beloved.

Upon nearing him, Vader's anticipation and fury grew by leaps and bounds. This was finally it! Kenobi didn't even know for his back was turned. All he had to do was plunge his blade into that traitorous bastar-Vader felt like push in the force so strong, he fell to his knees in a daze.

* * *

Turning to his back to deflect an oncoming blaster fire, Obi-wan noticed his former padawan and friend on his knees in the middle of the battle field.

"Anakin!" Obi-wan cried out worriedly amidst all the noise. "Anakin!" Something was wrong. Obi-wan never knew his former apprentice to be so vulnerable during a battle least in the middle of one.

After slashing a few more droids, Obi-wan rushed towards Vader's side and roughly shook him. "Anakin! what's wrong? Are you alright?"

* * *

Vader opened his eyes to whiteness. Complete and total whiteness. Where was he? How did he get here. The last he remembered as him about to kill that damn jedi when he felt the force...

"I suppose you're wondering why you're here," a familiar voice spoke out. Vader turned and was greeted by the sight of Qui-Gon Jinn.

"You really did send me back to the past."

"Not exactly me per say, it was the force like I said before."

"Where is this?"

" Your sub consciousness, where I am currently communicating with you. How are you fairing so far?"

"Why now? In the midst of a battle? you could have picked a better location or time." Vader had the sudden urge to complain.

The chuckle that escaped Qui-Gon's mouth irritated the sith to no end. "I'm afraid that I do not have much time here with you. You must return soon."

As that was finished being said, Vader thought to himself _good. I can finally settle my revenge._ "But I must explain something first," the jedi cut Vader's train of thought.

"The reason I sent you here is to warn you." The ethereal jedi spoke seriously.

"Warn me about what?"

"The force has granted you a second chance by going back in the past to correct your mistakes. You cannot kill Oni-wan" Vader was about to protest when Qui-gon cut in "Anakin, you are fifteen years in the past. Nothing that happened on the day of the jedi purges has occurred yet. No one has died or betrayed anybody yet. Because of that you should very well be aware of your actions." The late jedi made it a point to emphasize the next sentence. "You are no longer Vader, but Anakin Skywalker again. Do not forget this. A single wrong action from your former sith life will show the force that the privilege of having a second chance was a wrong decision."

"How-"

"You can be taken away as easily as you were brought here. Unless you want to return to your former life, I suggest you to control yourself, least you be sent back from callous errors without even trying."

From this information, Vader was having an internal conflict.

This time more gently, the former Jedi master reminded Vader, "remember nothing has happened yet. Obi-wan has not come to kill you, he is still the friend and brother you love. Please keep that in mind."

Seething on the inside, Vader nodded in confirmation of all the new information he was given. It was a real pity that kenobi was not going to die anytime soon, but he would risk it all for he had yet to see **_**her**_** again.

"It is time that you returned and I leave."

"Will we meet again?"

"In the near future. I will not always be there to help you like today. Do not succumb to the dark side again. learn to forgive and trust those who you have hated for the past years, it will bring you great peace."

"I don't think I can do the last thing you have asked of me, I really doubt that peace would come from doing such a thing," Vader replied dryly.

"Try."

Vader only nodded as Qui-Gon smiled and said, "till the next time, Anakin."

* * *

Anakin opened his eyes to see a pair of blue-grey looking at him worriedly. "Anakin."

Through clenched teeth Anakin uttered one name "Obi-wan".


	4. Adjusting

Anakin opened his eyes to see a pair of blue-grey looking at him worriedly.

"Anakin." Obi-wan spoke softly.

Through clenched teeth Anakin uttered one name "Obi-wan".

Slightly taken aback by the harsh tone of his former padawan, obi-wan truly began to worry for Anakin. In times like these, where one or the other was injured they would each welcome the presence of the other with open arms. After all, in such times as these in this horrid war, it was good to know and see that the few you could call a friend these days were still in the land of the living with so much death seen every day.

"How are you feeling?" Obi-wan asked gently. _It must have been the blow to the head that caused him to be in such a bad mood_ he thought to himself.

"Fine" Anakin spoke through gritted teeth.

"Are you...sure?"

"Yes!" Anakin snapped back.

Surprised at Anakin's hostile, aggressive behavior, Obi-wan took an unconscious step back.

Seeing this, Anakin let out a frustrated sigh then spoke rather harshly, "I need to be alone right now."

Nodding absently Obi-wan said "if you need anything, just call me", then pivoted on his foot he left through the door, but not before hearing Anakin mutter, "not even if I were dying..."

Something was very wrong and Obi-wan had a very bad feeling about it. He decided that mediation was in order to figure things out.

* * *

Once obi-wan had left, Anakin let out another very frustrated sigh and roughly ran a hand through his hair partially marveling at the feeling of being whole again...at least physically.

Force, he was ****so**** confused. He knew that he was back in the past. That was easy enough to identify, but actually believing it was a whole other story. And then there was also the other factor of a certain cursed jedi. Obi-wan. Try as he might, Anakin could not speak or think of that name without scorn, contempt or anger. It was his fault that Anakin had been made into a machine. Obi-wan was the one who stole his only happiness, and the fact that he could not even act on his growing fury was beyond infuriating. Oh, how he wished he could destroy something, anything. Crush it as if they were the insignificant things that they were in life. But if he did, then that would cause suspicion. And if that happened, he would not only be forced to be in the presence of the jedi he hated with passion, but might do something out of fury he would definitely regret later.

Qui-gon's warning rang out in his mind again " _You are no longer Vader, but Anakin Skywalker again. Do not forget this. A single wrong action from your former sith life will show the force that the privilege of having a second chance was a wrong decision_."

Force! He hated when things were out of his control.

Sitting up gingerly, Anakin peered about the room with slight interest. It was all how he remember it. The walls were the same pristine grey-silver, indicating a relatively new ship on such a state observed. The atmosphere was similar to the spartan military command that he recognized during his fifteen years as a sith, not to mention before then when he was a jedi.

Swinging his legs off the med bed, Anakin stood up and basked at another wonderful factor.

It didn't hurt. There was no pain when he stood.

Forever when he was a sith there was always a constant pain whether it be standing, sitting, or pretty much anything he did. Pain was a constant friend and companion that followed him everywhere both physical or psychological, and to be without it for the first time in fifteen years, at least physically, it felt truly, blissfully wonderful and foreign.

Stretching, to get reacquainted with his old body, Anakin could not stop marveling at how good it felt.

It was nice to be whole again. Well, mostly considering the hand Dooku had cut off...

Feeling the usual need to do something and move, Anakin exited the medical room and headed out.

Looking more at the ship, he felt a sense of nostalgia and quickly berated himself for feeling such a thing.

How could he, dark lord and sith (or now, former sith) feel that way...to a battleship! This ship filled with mindless clones that could easily be replaced, droids that were only meant to serve the higher order, and a jedi he hated with every ounce and fiber of his being.

But deep, deep down in his heart he acknowledged this nostalgia to be true.

As reluctant as he was to admit it...there were some good times he had aboard these numerous replicas of battleships.

At least much better times than he ever had as a dark lord.

Shaking himself from his reverie, Anakin walked on. He knew the layout by memory and strode towards the main bridge.

* * *

After some time, with some minor stops where old memories filled the former Dark lord, he finally reached his destination. Upon arrival, however, he came across someone who he was planning to avoid for possibly, forever.

No such damn luck.

"Anakin! Good, you're here," obi-wan called out to his former apprentice.

Anakin contemplated whether or not he should walk out the room or blatantly ignore the older Jedi. Thinking through the two options quickly, he chose neither since both seem to be signs of weakness. Weakness was not an option. Especially towards the man who had defeated Anakin and left him to suffer, witness to his lowest point in Anakin's existence.

Nodding stiffly, Anakin approached his former master with barely constraint caution. Noticing this, Obi-wan wondered what in blazes was bothering Anakin. He was acting as if Obi-wan was some dangerous Krayt dragon about to consume Anakin with its deadly jaws.

Hostility, anger and most of all, impatience was what Obi-wan was used to, but caution? That only occurred when his former padawan was a youngling and did something he knew he would get in trouble for.

This type of caution gave off a vibe much more different than a youngling preparing for the reprimand he would get from an adult.

Most curious.

As Anakin made his way towards the front, he tried with great, but apparently failing strength, to appear normal, if not a little stressed as he neared Obi-wan.

Pretending that the tension sky-rocking did not exist, Anakin decided to see where he was headed.

"Our next destination?" he asked.

"Coruscant" Obi-wan replied back. He was happy that Anakin seemed to have placed his distant attitude of some degree, elsewhere.

At this piece of information, Anakin immediately tensed.

Coruscant.

The capital of the Republic.

Also the capital of the future empire.

Home to the retched Emperor. _Or shall I say Palpatine_ Anakin thought in disgust.

Then he froze as another realization struck him.

It was where his beloved resided. His angel... _Padme_...

Obi-wan noticed Anakin's sudden mood change, but thankfully, chose not to question it.

" The council wishes us to debrief them of the latest battle." Obi-wan continued on, but Anakin wasn't listening. The only thing he caught on was the word council.

Out of nowhere, a violent, sharp burst of anger surged forth within Anakin.

The council.

Those narrow-minded fools who were too weak and blind to see the advances of the dark side until it was too late. The same council who looked on at Anakin in mistrust and cold suspicion. The, oh, so powerful jedi masters he helped slay during his fifteen years as a sith. And lastly, the proclaimed wizened grand master, Yoda; The fucking troll that turned his back away from Anakin when he most needed him, let his angel die and yet still looked on with disapproval in his eyes.

Yes, that council.

Once again the former sith's mood plummeted from it's somewhat good mood previously made by the revelation of being able to see his long departed wife once more.

Obi-wan shocked by the sudden flare of emotion, turned to see Anakin seething with barely concealed rage.

"Anakin!"

Snapping out of his own dark thoughts, Anakin's steely gaze turned to meet Obi-wan's alarmed one.

"What is going on? You've constantly been in a dark mood ever since the last battle." The former master asked with concern.

Immediately Anakin snapped viciously in the most cold, controlled voice that made the force around Ob-wan scream a warning of danger.

"Nothing of your concern, master," Anakin drawled out the last word in mocking respect.

"Anakin, you can talk to me about this. Tell me what's bothering you I can hel-"

"I'm fine" the retort sounded strained and forced out. "I'm just...just having a bad day," he said through a shuddering breath.

"Are you...sure?" Obi-wan asked unconvinced.

"Yes," Anakin said through clenched teeth.

Anakin knew that Obi-wan was not convinced but thankfully, did not question him further as the two stood in a tense filled silence.

* * *

For the rest of the journey Anakin mostly stayed in his quarters which he thankfully had to himself. The fact that Obi-wan did not bother him was another added bonus.

To say that the Anakin was restless would have been an understatement.

Though he did not want to interact with anyone of the past-now-present, the lack of doing anything at all was making him agitated and somewhat moody. More than once Anakin had thought to step out of his room to explore or do something other than getting his meals( which was not much other than some bland and unappetizing ration bars, though he didn't complain being the first time in fifteen years of eating something solid), but though better of it.

He would not risk it. Boredom was one thing, getting angry at your men and killing them because of a mistake or incompetence was another. He would not revert back to his old ways...at least not in front of a jedi.

There was only one time that the former jedi master had visited Anakin's quarters, but it was only to tell him that they were arriving on the planet within an hour.

That happy news almost made Anakin forget the irritating presence of the jedi.

Almost.

When the ship had landed and Anakin practically ran out. It was suffocating in the ship; To be trapped without anywhere to go.

He knew that feeling all too well, trapped in his life suite for fifteen years...

Being out in the open again, it was nice, free.

But freedom was only an illusion.

Right behind Anakin, out stepped Obi-wan.

"It's good to be back," Obi-wan said while gazing at his surrounding with a note of fondness and relief.

Anakin had to agree with him on that. Though Coruscant looked practically the same as it did in the future when he reigned, it felt different. Like it held warmth or a feeling of belonging.

No, it wasn't that this planet had the power to hold such feelings, it was the people or in his case, the person who resided in it.

"We should to temple now, the council is expecting us."

At this Anakin turned sharply to face Obi-wan who was making his way to one of the smaller transports in the docking bay.

"No."

Obi-wan stopped and turned his head towards Anakin. "What do you mean, no?"

"You heard me, no. I'm not going with you," Anakin stated with finality.

"Anakin," Obi-wan exhaled exasperated, "there is no choice in this matter, it is our duty to-"

"Go if you want. I'm not stopping you, but don't think you can take me with you." With the last word punctuated, Anakin strode the opposite direction ignoring shouts from Obi-wan and the surprised and indignant yelps from the beings he pushed past. Hopping into a speeder, Anakin took off without so much as a glace back and sped through the streets of Coruscant.

He just couldn't have gone to the temple. To the council. To see all the faces of his enemies, many whom he hated. Many whom he had killed. He wasn't ready.

He refused to stand at attention and the scrutiny of the jedi masters. Their carefully sculpted facades of order and control. At one point in Anakin's life, he craved to see the acceptance and understanding in those very eyes that gazed upon him hidden wariness. Now, he could have cared less. Let them look on with disappointment, detached and uncaring as they were.

Although Anakin was whole and complete again, like the Anakin Skywalker in this time period, he was not the same.

He couldn't just ignore and forgive everyone and everything and go back to how things were. No. Not with all the knowledge he knew. It just wasn't the same, and it never would be.

Anakin needed a break, needed to be alone for a while to collect himself. This was just too much for him to take in. Ever since coming back to the past, nothing had gone right. It seemed that being in the past or future was no different.

Flying to a more secluded place, Anakin landed and stepped out.

As he got out, he Felt the air rush on his face, the honking of the speeders in the distance, the buzzing of chatter and the bustling of beings. It was somewhat calming.

Out of all the stressful events that happened when he returned, Anakin was glad to be in his old body where his cloak could conceal his identity; he could just be another unanimous being on the planet.

As a sith lord, Anakin couldn't go anywhere without immediate recognition, with fear. Always, People would cower in fright or stumble amongst themselves to please him with greed filled eyes. It was refreshing to be able to hide from the world. That just wasn't possible with his life suit he had always had to wear.

Weaving through the mass of beings without any real destination in mind, a small forced collided with Anakin's legs. Looking down, that small force turned out to be a little twi'lek girl.

The little girl had fallen to the ground upon impact and remained so with an adorable pout while rubbing her sore bottom.

Anakin could only stare at the little girl, unsure of what to do. Once upon a time he liked children and loved to play with them because of their innocence and pure qualities.

But time as a sith lord had hardened him, made him a symbol that inspired fear and power. He was the equivalent of a boogeyman when parents told their children bedtime stories.

Now, he had no idea what to do. He contemplated just walking away, but that plan was canceled when the little girl looked up at him.

Her eyes widened then a broad smile lit her face.

"Are you...are you Anakin Skywalker?" She asked with awe in her voice.

Uncomfortable with the situation, Anakin continued to stare at the girl, then slowly shook his head.

He had traveled out here for peace and time alone, if he drew attention to himself it would have been all for naught.

But the girl persisted. "Wait, you are him! I just know it!"

Frustrated that this was not turning out well, Anakin raised his hand about to mind trick her when she took his own in her little hands.

"Thank you," she said with such sincerity and warmth.

Anakin paused.

_What? Thank me for what_? he wondered.

His confusion must have shown on his face because the girl gave a small giggle, "you're always out there fighting all the bad guys and protecting the people. I know it's not much or anything, but thank you for looking out for us."

Anakin was shocked. This girl here, out of nowhere was thanking him. Thanking his for something he despised doing, had only done for sake of his so called duty. It didn't feel right to be accepting her gratitude.

"You shouldn't be thanking me."

"Why not?" the girl asked surprised.

"I'm not a savior. I'm no hero...just a person doing his duty," he stated bitterly.

"But you still do it. You saved many people from the bad guys," she smiled.

"How do you know I'm not a bad guy? A monster even?" He questioned the little girl. "What if I am worst than any evil bad guy such as...Grevious or Dooku? Then what? Would you still be willing to thank me?"

At this the girl's forehead was scrunched up, deep in thought.

Finally looking up she said "yup," with a bob of her head.

"Why?' Anakin was intrigued yet confused.

"Wanna know a secret?" she asked.

Unsure of what else to do Anakin nodded hesitantly.

"My mama said that everybody makes mistakes in life. Some good some bad. She said 'you can't undo the bad, but there is always a chance to make up for it.' Cause you know why?"

Anakin shook his head.

Another brilliant smile lit her face. "Never let the bad things you did overshadow the good things you did or could do!"

Anakin stared at the little girl, lost in thought, then finally spoke, "you're mother sounds like a wise person."

The girl nodded enthusiastically.

They both heard a women calling, "Alina! Alina where are you, we're leaving!'

The young girl turned around. "Oh, that's my mama, I have to go. Bye-bye." With that she turned and waved good-bye then sped off to her mother.

_So her name is Alina is it..._

"Strange kid" he muttered to himself. But that light conversation he held with the child was surprisingly pleasant not to mention deep.

The first time since coming back to the past Anakin felt...well, not happy, but lighter.

_Maybe the past isn't so bad after all..._ he thought.


	5. Negligence

Anakin continued to squander in the lower levels of Coruscant, his hood up to conceal his identity to the world. Everything seemed to pass by him like a blur. Although he had accepted the reality of being in the present, he found it difficult to accept the presence of it. It suited him fine for the moment to sink into a sense of negligence.

So, here Anakin was, wandering aimlessly through the dark, shallow underbelly of the great Republic.

Anakin snorted quietly to himself. _The great Republic..._ He thought in disgust _. If it was so great as everyone thought it was, then why did it crumble so easily. All anyone ever did was point fingers to avoid taking responsibility while the masses fell to become shameless sycophants for their own greed. It deserved to fall the way it did._

But then he pondered more on his thoughts and finally came to conclude that the empire wasn't much better. It just had the order and control that the republic lacked because of their, oh, so precious democracy that they boasted of.

Order. What the republic always strived to achieve, but could never quite gain. It was ironic that the thing they opposed the most, a dictatorship, was the one who achieved what they had always wanted. But as with all things, everything came with a price. Anakin knew by heart the hard way from experience that everything demanded something in return.

If a someone wanted prestige, then they would have first grovel before their superiors before gaining any grounds. If someone wanted money, then they had better be prepared for retribution when they were caught for being stupid enough to swindle from another. If a person wanted to gain power, such as Anakin...then they should know that sacrifices would always present itself.

_Even sacrifices that you have worked so hard to avoid_...

Mentally shaking himself out of his depressing thoughts, Anakin stopped walking and looked up to gauge where he was. He had been so focused on his thoughts, that he didn't realize that he was alone in a deserted street. It had seemed that he had landed in an unknown gangster territory.

By the looks of things, and the shadows that were following him, it appeared that he was being hunted while he had been busy brooding.

Smiling silently to himself Anakin was pleased.

_Finally, a suitable distraction has appeared. Might as well have a little fun, after all, I've been missing out with all the annoying interventions._ He thought with satisfaction.

Languidly crossing his arms, Anakin waited for his would-be attackers to reveal themselves.

* * *

Aran Covek smirked gleefully to himself. Today was a lucky day indeed. He and his mates were running short on credits due to his recent loss in Sabaac. It wasn't his fault that he thought he had a winning hand and threw an all in. How was he suppose to know that the blasted Rodian had a better hand?

Luckily for him, a little lost lamb happen to stumble onto his turf. Hopefully, this one had some credits on him, or they could use him as ransom if he turned out to be someone of importance.

_Fat chance at that_ Aran snorted at his thoughts. No one remotely significant ever came down to the lower levels, of course unless it happen to be for some dirty business or information.

Signaling to his comrades to move out, Aran stepped out of the shadows.

"Well well well, boys, what do we have here?" Aran said while making a grand gesture towards his prey. "Looks like someone is a little lost. Now, we can't have that, boys, can we?" A malicious glint appeared in his comrades eyes. " As the good citizens of the republic, it's only right that we help out a fellow friend...for a price."

At this all three, Aran and his lackeys, surrounded the lone figure who remained stationary. All the figure did was observe the three with an almost bored air to it.

This annoyed Aran.

By right, what seemed like a man, should have been cowering, ready to submit to every demand Aran wanted. This would not do.

Changing his tone from a relatively friendly one, to one of malice, Aran demanded, "give us your credits, and just maybe, we'll let you walk away all fine and dandy," he said with a twisted smile.

The figure stood there unmoving as if the threat had flew right by. Getting angry by the lack of response, Aran whipped out his blaster and pointed it to the man, the others following his lead.

"The money. Now. You see, me and my pals aren't so bad. We're actually giving you a choice. So do as we say, or we can get what we want from you dead or alive. Your choice. Think fast."

Finally this elicited a response from the figure who merely uncrossed his arms and said, "I choose...neither."

With a movement so fast, Aran almost didn't see, his comrades blasters were each sliced into two by a bright neon light, followed by shouts of pain as the mystery man struck his lackeys. Without thinking, Aran open fired at the man, but the neon light continued to repel his shots as if it were batting away some annoying fly.

Fear started to seep into Aran as he came to a realization.

The neon light was a lightsaber.

That meant that the figure was a jedi.

_Stang!_ he swore to himself. How was he to know that his intended target was a jedi!

Quickly glancing to the sides where his comrades were, he could see that they were both on the ground moaning in pain with injuries. One was missing his left hand.

Panic filled Aran. Was he going to die? He wasn't ready to die. He wasn't going to! But surely a jedi wouldn't kill him. It wasn't in their mandate.

Thinking fast, Aran threw the blaster to the ground and held up his hands in sign of surrender.

"Don't kill me, I-I'm unarmed," he stammered. "You can't hurt an unarmed man. Jedi can't do that!"

The man walked silently towards Aran, as if a nexu prowling its prey.

The figure stopped right in front of Aran, and just stood to watch for a moment before speaking.

"Your point?"

At this Aran's eyes widened in alarm as the man continued to speak.

"You think I care about that? No," Aran felt a chill run up his spine from lack of emotion coming from the man. "That rule only applies to those who have honor. You clearly have none."

"w-w-wait, I, please-"

But the man already had his saber raised, poised to strike.

With a blur so fast, the blade came down. Only to stop millimeters from his neck.

Blinking in confusion, Aran dared not look up, but did so out of morbid curiosity.

* * *

Anakin waited in bored amusement as his would-be attackers slowly made an appearance, the leader strolling with an air of self-importance. Did he really think he was worth anything. That man was probably worth less than the boots on Anakin's feet.

_Fools like these always need to learn the hard way and be taken down a notch._ Anakin thought grimly.

"Well well well, boys, what do we have here?" The leader said while making a grand gesture towards Anakin. "Looks like someone is a little lost. Now we can't have that, boys, can we?" The other two followers looked on with what they thought looked remotely intimidating. They weren't. Anakin just thought they looked pathetic. The leader continued, " As the good citizens of the republic, it's only right that we help out a fellow friend...for a price."

Anakin had almost laughed out loud by this declaration.

_Good citizens of the Republic, are you kidding me? This is only one of the reason why the Republic deserved to fall. The Empire may have not rid the universe of this scum, but at least it restricted and lessen their kind._

The leader of the group frowned when Anakin showed no sign of submission or even fear. He then changed his tactics when his tone morphed from a relatively friendly one, to one of malice. The leader demanded, "give us your credits, and just maybe, we'll let you walk away all fine and dandy," he said with a cruel smile, but it seemed to be more of a grimace.

Still Anakin did nothing but stand and silently stare. Was this really it? Maybe he was expecting too much and overestimated the opponents when he thought that these pathetic life forms could prove to be even a morsel of entertainment.

_Such a disappointment_ sighed Anakin.

Finally, the leader scum snapped and produce a blaster he thought he was hiding.

"The money. Now. You see, me and my pals aren't so bad. We're actually giving you a choice. So do as we say, or we can get what we want from you dead or alive. Your choice. Think fast."

Growing tired of the useless threats, Anakin decided to end things, "I choose...neither."

Calling his lightsaber to his hand via the force so fast, the leader's lackeys didn't see it coming when Anakin deftly sliced through their blasters. One recovered from the shock faster than the other and was smart enough to shift the other way as Anakin's saber came down again only to slice of the arm of the unfortunate lackey who was still frozen in shock.

Not wasting his time on the already incapacitated man, Anakin turned to strike down the one who dodged by swinging his lightsaber in a blue arc, slashing the man in the back.

The pathetic scum laid there on the filthy floor writhing in pain along with the other who had finally caught up with everything that had happened. Before Anakin could finish them off, Blaster shots came in a flurry towards him which he merely deflected with ease.

Anakin could feel the fear, almost see it oozing out of the last man standing. He relished it. This was real power. To be in total and absolute control, those who were worthy deserved such, not some sniveling coward who though holding a blaster made him powerful. He could hear it, the dark side urging him to kill the man. It's dark tendrils coaxing, persuading, encouraging the man's death, which Anakin was more than happy to comply

The man looked in horror to his helpless lackeys still rolling on the round.

Anakin could hear the thoughts of the weak minded fool clearly in his own, and what he heard disgusted him.

Did this man really think he was worth anything alive? The galaxy was better off with him dead. He could care less about some outdated code from the jedi.

The man threw down his blaster in a last attempt to save his life.

"Don't kill me, I-I'm unarmed," he stammered. "You can't hurt an unarmed man. Jedi can't do that!"

Anakin just casually walked over time the man, drawing out the terror of his soon to be victim.

He stopped right in from of the trembling man and thought he could at least amuse himself a little from the reaction he would get from the scum.

"Your point?"

The man's eyes widened as Anakin continued to speak.

"You think I care about that? No," The words came out almost as if they were rehearsed, which in fact, they were. Anakin had faced many like this kind in his day as a sith lord, and when they begged for their lives, he would say the exact same thing.

"That rule only applies to those who have honor. You clearly have none."

"W-w-wait, I, please-" the man shamelessly begged.

But Anakin ignored his cries for mercy as he lifted his blade to strike.

_Kill him!_ The dark side whispered passionately.

With a blur so fast, the blade came down. Only to stop millimeters from the man's neck.

_Anakin, No!_ a very familiar voice shouted with such force. He froze and stood there in shock from the intensity of the warning.

Only moments later, the constant ringing of his comlink resounded in the silence. Snapping out of his reverie Anakin answered his comlink, never taking his eyes off the bewildered man he was seconds away from killing.

"Anakin! What is going on! You just ran off to force know where the minute we touched down in Coruscant. Where are you?" Ob-Wan's voice came to life.

The man's eyes widened at this revelation.

_Oh god, I tried to mug Anakin Skywalker...Anakin Freaking Skywalker!_

Anakin ignore the man and returned his attention to his former master.

" It doesn't matter where I am?"

"Doesn't matter?" Obi-Wan repeated incredulously, "you missed out in an important council report, have been missing for several hours and continue to do so, and it doesn't matter? Come back to the temple immedi-"

"No."

Anakin could clearly hear the sigh of Obi-Wan on the comlink, and took petty satisfaction of his rebellion for everything concerning his former master.

"And why is that?" Obi-Wan asked dryly.

"I have my reasons," Anakin countered.

"Anakin, what has gotten in to you? You disobeying order or doing what you want, that's nothing new, but this is way out and beyond of your usual character."

" I have no idea what you mean, Obi-Wan."

"Oh, I think you know, I want to know what's going on, and I want to know now".

Even as the two were miles away from each other, the air was still thick with tension. Silence was the only thing that was conveyed through the comlink for several moments.

Finally, Obi-Wan seemed to have given up trying to get a answer out of Anakin and just said, " this is not over, but we have other things to do. Now, you may not want to go to the temple for reasons I have clue of, but we must go to the senate. Now."

The senate.

Anakin stilled when he heard this. All the frustration and hatred that was built from the conversation towards Ob-wan evaporated with those two words.

The senate.

_Padme_ he thought in joy.

Ob-Wan continued, oblivious to Anakin's reaction. " The chancellor wishes for us to report in person," Obi-Wan said with hidden mistrust, but Anakin could detect it. Obi-Wan was right to be distrustful. Just as fast as Anakin hate for his former master disappeared, it reappeared, but with a different target in mind.

Palpatine.

_That slimy bastard_ Anakin thought in contempt.

"Anakin, are you listening?"

"Yes," he replied through gritted teeth.

"Be sure to be there. Don't think about skipping out of this...Kenobi out."

Anakin couldn't care less if he followed the jedi's order or not, but he couldn't miss the chance to meet his beloved.

It had been so long, so very long since he seen her. He had to go. But there was a problem.

Palpatine.

Anakin was sure that the minute he spotted the devious man, he would lose all sanity and slaughter the swine. While he was perfectly fine with killing the chancellor, he couldn't risk doing it from of so many witnesses. Least of all in front of the jedi.

But it was a risk he had to take. He wouldn't deny himself the chance to see her again. Not after all he had to forgo just because of what the force dictated was alright to do or not. Taking a deep breath, Anakin prepared to head out, only to stop at the sight of the pathetic man still staring at him wide-eyed in confusion and fear.

How Anakin wanted to just kill the man. It would have only taken a flick of his wrist to end it all, but he couldn't.

The force resounded all around him. No longer did the dark side fill his mind and body, but it was more of the light side warning him not to. Anakin would have happily ignored it, but a certain celestial jedi's warning echoes in his mind.

The ramifications were too great to ignore.

Clenching his fist in anger, Anakin stormed the last few steps towards the man who stumbled back to try and get away, but Anakin grabbed hold of tunic and viciously pulled him until the man was inches from his face.

"I honestly don't care if you lived or die, or anything of the matter, but somehow the force wants you alive for gods knows what reason."

If Alan thought he was confused in the beginning, he was now on a whole new level.

Anakin continued, "take the others," he gesture to the other two men who had quieted some time ago, but laid motionless. "They're not dead, unfortunately. I want you to go, and you will never do this again to anyone. If you do, I will hunt you down, and kill you. Slowly. Myself." This was of course a lie since Anakin couldn't be bothered to waste his time on this low life, but the threat did the trick when the man nodded vigorously and scampered off as soon as he let go of the man.

Not wasting his time to look back, Anakin went to find his speeder. This was it.

* * *

Ob-Wan stood outside of the grand doors to the senate, arms crossed tapping his foot impatiently.

_He isn't coming_ though Obi-Wan in annoyance. He was getting worried. Something was up that was making Anakin act the way he was, and it only seemed to be getting worst as the days passed. But he could think of nothing in the seven sith hells that would be the cause of it. Why, everything had seemed normal all the way through, until the very last battle when they had returned.

Ob-Wan wanted to help his former padawan, but as usual, Anakin was always so closed off to everyone. So mistrustful.

_Except to a certain chancellor_.

Obi-Wan was growing concerned with the relationship between Palpatine and Anakin. It seemed that they were closer more than ever, especially ever since the clone wars had started.

Over the years, the man had become more and more powerful in the senate. Now this wouldn't be a problem in these times of war, but something felt...off.

Palpatine could not be trusted, but obi-wan had foolishly made the mistake of letting Anakin create a friendship with the chancellor to what is has become now. At times Obi-Wan felt that because of his leniency, Anakin trusted him far less than that of the chancellor.

Admitting to himself this fact, knowing that truth hurt.

Sensing a bright familiar presence, Obi-Wan looked up to see Anakin walking towards him, his hood masking his face.

Straightening up, Obi-Wan fixed Anakin with a stern expression and asked, "and just where have you been exactly?"

Ignoring his question, Anakin walked past him and into the halls of the senate building, replying without looking back, "is the...chancellor in session right now?"

"No, he cleared his schedule for us so he could meet us today. He seemed quite eager to hear out report."

_Like hell he was_ Anakin thought to himself.

"Will you be visiting him afterwards," Obi-wan asked with caution.

The mere thought of doing such a thing made Anakin sick. he would rather die than to sit in another "friendly chats" with Palpatine. That man never cared, and like all others, only wanted Anakin for his own gain.

The silence that met Obi-wan unnerved him but he finally replied back with a simple quiet, "no".

This was very unusual indeed. The jedi master didn't know whether or not to be relieved or more worried. Anakin never turned down a chance to meet with the chancellor.

As the duo approached the door to the chancellor, they were ushered into the waiting room temporarily while his secretary informed him of their arrival.

While in the waiting room, Obi-Wan took time to observe his former padawan. Physically, nothing had changed, but Obi-Wan could see the tired, stressed lines across the jedi knight's face. The face that showed the world a façade of unshakable strength and confidence. But Obi-Wan knew better. While he did not know all the facts, he knew one thing for certain.

Anakin was suffering.

It might have been because of the pressure of war, the people and his given title-'the hero with no fear', or perhaps the pressure and scrutiny of the council. Obi-Wan didn't know, but as his former master, he had to help him, but how? Anakin seemed to grow farther and farther apart as the war progressed, especially now for some reason. The force around Anakin was still as bright and blazing as the twin suns of Tatooine, but it seemed dimmer than usual. As if some of its luster was lost.

Why was that?

Noticing the scrutiny of the jedi master, Anakin turned towards him with a raised eyebrow. Finding nothing suitable to say, Obi-Wan just shook his head slowly and turned away, lost in his thoughts.

* * *

She gave a weary sigh as she leaned back against her office chair.

Another meaningless dispute between systems had arisen all because of the damnable war. How she wished that a peaceful solution could be reached out of all of this. But time after time, peaceful settlements have always been shot down or gone astray from different circumstances.

Closing her eyes and massaging her temples, Padme Amidala (Skywalker) gave herself a moment of rest. Opening one eye, she glared at a report lying on her desk.

It was another report that she was writing towards the chancellor, one which was almost completed. Deep in her heart she knew that Palpatine would most likely give her a warm, welcoming smile then glance briefly at her hard efforts to aid those affect by the war and disregard it as something insignificant and unimportant, claiming that the senate's attentions could be used somewhere more beneficial; Like the production of more clones and weapons.

Why couldn't any of the people around her see that the people of the Republic needed help. The senate's focus shouldn't all be about winning battles! Only she and a few others like Bail Organa and Mon Mothma were with her, but other seemed that they could care less.

Straightening up in her seat, he reached for the data pad, ready to complete her task. There was only one opening, her appointment, for her to submit this and if she missed it the chancellor wouldn't even look at it. Padme had to finish it on time.

Five minutes in her work, the sound of a chime was brought to her attention. A few moments later, Padme's assistant came in, handing her another stack of data pad that needed to be read.

_Great more work_ she thought tiredly.

"Is there anything more you need, senator?" Her assistant asked.

"No, that would be all. Thank you," she smiled back.

Nodding the woman was about to walk away, when her comm chimed, excusing herself she went to answer it.

Getting back into her work, Padme was once more interrupted by her assistant who looked at her nervously.

"Yes," Padme asked.

"I have just been notified to tell you that your appointment slot with chancellor has been decreased in time this evening. He said that he had a more pressing matter to attend to."

"What," Padme said in disbelief. That man was curtailing her time for something else. What could possibly so important that her meeting had to be postponed.

She voiced her thoughts to the nervous looking women.

"He said something about being briefed on a latest win in battle. The jedi are meeting him. If I am not mistaken, it is Knight Skywalker and master Kenobi."

All irritation vanished into thin air at the sound of her husband's name.

He was back! Excitement and joy coursed through her veins at the thought of meeting Anakin.

He was safe! He came back! She could finally feel the strength and love of his embrace, run her hands through in unruly blond locks, kiss his sweet lips.

Glancing at the chrono on the wall, she noted that she didn't have much time before he came. About to get up, Padme was once more reminded of the duty she had to do when the image of her report stared right back at her. Biting her bottom lip in frustration, she was torn between wanting to see her husband, or completing the report that might just help a few more lives, however unlikely and small.

Sitting back down in defeat Padme thought sullenly to herself _surely Anakin would understand, duty comes first._


	6. Finally

Entering the extravagant office, Anakin braced himself to face the devil himself.

Looking up from the workload he was currently on, Palpatine spotted the two jedi that came forth.

"Ah! Anakin! It has been so long. And you too, Master Kenobi. Please, come and sit. Would you care for a drink?" Palpatine said with the kindness of an elderly man meeting his grandchildren.

Anakin remained rooted to the spot where he stood. It took all his considerable effort not to recoil or strike the man down.

Palpatine, upon seeing Anakin's guarded expression, changed his own to one of gentle concern.

"My boy, is something the matter?" He asked.

"Nothing," Anakin snapped back venomously.

Taken aback by the harshness, Palpatine once again tried to seek out to the young jedi. "My boy, are you sure?"

Why was everyone asking that of him? He. Was. Fine. It was just everyone else.

"Yes," he replied coldly.

Darth Sidious could feel the hatred, the hostility coming from Skywalker, and he embraced the darkness of his future apprentice with glee. He did not know the reason for such emotions that coursed through Skywalker, but it was good progression from turning the boy to the dark side.

Anakin knew that the gentle, kind demeanor of the chancellor was all a farce. He knew the truth.

The man standing before him was a cold-hearted sith. A manipulator. A deviously selfish man who wanted power out of the suffering from others.

Anakin almost wanted to hit himself for being so stupid and naïve at his past self for believing that Palpatine had actually cared for him.

Glancing worriedly to the side of him, Obi-wan tried to revert their attention to business. " Chancellor, we will give a brief report and take our leave. We wouldn't want to interrupt your time and work."

Waving his hands dismissively, the chancellor replied back, "oh, it is quite alright. I switched appointments here and there to accommodate you. After all, hearing the victories of the republic is of great importance to me. You are not interrupting anything at all."

Nodding, Obi-Wan relayed his report while Anakin stood to the side, his guard up and watching. Continuously during the debriefing, Palpatine discreetly watched Anakin in the corner of his eyes.

It was unusual. The amount of hatred and apathy in Skywalker was interesting, to say in the least. Why was that so?

Palpatine couldn't help but feel that some of the negativity was directed towards himself. What could he have done to make his future apprentice so cold towards him? The loving father figure who had always encouraged the boy and gave him the attention and praise the supposed "Chosen One" always thought he deserved.

He would have to meditate on the force to seek further answers. For now, however, Palpatine continued to play the bluff of the weary, devoted face of the chancellor.

* * *

He couldn't stand it, being in the same room as this vile creature. Anakin was so close, so close to the man, it would have only taken one strike and Palpatine didn't even suspect betrayal from Anakin. But he knew that attacking him now would not be wise. True he would have the advantage of surprise, but Palpatine was a shrewd man. And that man would find some way to remain in cover while he placed the blame solely on Anakin.

And there was Obi-Wan to consider in all of this.

The Jedi master would no doubt protect the very being that would destroy every precious little thing that Obi-Wan held dear.

"-While we have successfully pushed back separatist forces," Obi-Wan droned on dutifully, " it is unfortunate that the last battle had taken an especially heavy toll on the civilian population. Anakin," the Jedi master called, snapping Anakin's attention away from the hidden sith lord, "the casualty reports?"

Thinking hard for a moment, Anakin thought back for the results of the battle. Though he could not remember such a detailed report from his current memory, is was refreshed while he was onboard en route to Coruscant. The problem was that he wasn't all too concerned about knowing all the information, he had too much on his mind at the time.

Vaguely remembering some details Anakin accounted the losses, "out of the three cities that we were successful in retaking, one is more than fifty percent decimated, while the other two, thankfully, suffer less casualties. As for the body count, close to five thousand civilians are found dead, while many more are reported missing."

A sympathetic look crossed the chancellor's face as he heard the new. "Such a terrible loss caused from this dreadful war."

"There are clones remaining to help with the aftermath and clean up. Hopefully, the people will get their lives back, though not after some time to recover," interjected Obi-Wan.

Nodding, Palpatine claimed passionately, "It is within the Republic, and most definitely, my interest to see the end of this war. The people have suffered enough at the hands of those horrid separatist."

"As are we," added Obi-Wan.

_End the war! You were the one who started it in the first place_ thought Anakin angrily.

Both sith and jedi master once again felt the flare of rage that swept by swiftly before disappearing without trace.

Thinking right to the end the discussion Obi-Wan politely excused them, "I'm afraid we must depart. we have other duties that requires our attention."

Aware of what Kenobi was doing, Palpatine acknowledged his attempts to leave, "of course, much is to be done if we are to see the end of this war." Turning to face Anakin he innocently inquired, "hopefully, those duties do not require the full length of your time, Anakin? It would be nice if you could visit me once more to catch up, yes?"

Revulsion filled the former sith lord, _If I had to suffer dismemberment on Mufastar again, I would gladly do so at the expense of never being in your wretched presence._

Instead of voicing his thoughts, he said, "Apologies, chancellor, "in what sounded close to a mock-like tone, "but I don't believe that I have time to spare on this trip."

Anakin took some minor satisfaction when he saw the hidden sith master's face fall slightly.

"How unfortunate, maybe next time in the near future?"

_Most definitely not,_ "I'm not sure what the future will bring." _Your long and pain filled death..._

Turning to exit the room, an almost innocent-like remark stopped him in his tracks.

"Till the next time, Anakin, and Master Kenobi. Give my regards to senator Amidala."

looking back, he narrowed his eyes and asked, "give my regards to senator Amidala? Whatever for?"

The Sith master feigned surprise upon hearing this question. "Why, I thought you would visit her at least once during your time here? After all, she is one of your dear friends."

Anakin couldn't help but notice how "dear" was stressed out in the end.

Waiting patiently for his reply, Palpatine was not prepared for when Anakin strode up to his desk, slammed his hands forcefully, and whispered "Don't you dare speak of her, ever," that sounded too low to be anything but threatening.

Bewildered by such an out of character statement, the chancellor just looked on in shock while Obi-Wan could be heard, profusely apologizing for his former padawan's behavior while ushering said man out the door.

_Strange behavior indeed_ Sidious thought to himself.

* * *

A soft smile lit her features as she carefully read through her completed report one more time.

She was done. Now she could finally present it for the chancellor to look at, and once that was over with...

_Anakin..._ she thought longingly. _Not much longer, and we can be together again soon_ glancing over at her work _after this gets presented._

* * *

"Chancellor, Senator Amidala of Naboo has arrived for her appointment," the dutiful voice of his secretary informed him.

"Send her in."

"Yes, sir."

Waiting patiently for his guest, the Sith master has a few moments to think to himself.

His future apprentice was...different. At first, he dismissed it as something alike to stress concerning the war and all the boy's pitiful problems, but no, that was not it. Progressively as the meeting continued, Skywalker had grown more distant and cold, finally, lashing out at the end. Not even once during their so called friendship did Skywalker ever express any form of malice, at least never towards him. But after the display of outright hatred and anger...

True, it was his goal for Skywalker to fall to the dark side, but this new rift created between their once solid relationship would compromise all his hard efforts. If Skywalker was not on his side when he turned, then unnecessarily complication would arise.

He had to fix it. _And Amidala may just help with that..._

* * *

Entering the office, Padme nodded in greeting, "chancellor."

"Senator Amidala, what can I do for you today?" the elderly man asked in curiosity.

"I am sure you are aware of the continuous war efforts, and because of that, I would like to mention once more that the common people of the republic are left out much too often." The man nodded in understanding and she continued on, "I am proposing a new bill which concerns the use of the senate's credits. Much of our money can go a long way into aiding those who need it much more."

The chancellor frowned slightly and spoke, "I know how much stress this war is causing all of us, but I'm afraid that while your cause is a noble one, we cannot spare any amount."

Ignoring the urge to pinch the bridge of her nose in frustration, she tried once more, " Chancellor, we cannot ignore that cries of the people! It has gone on long enough, the peopl-," but she was cut off.

"We mustn't deter from our path and lose faith, the Republic will win this war especially with the jedi on our side."

"This isn't a matter of me losing faith, Chancellor, while the senate sits here debating, more soldiers including civilians die every day. The ones in the aftermath of it all are left to suffer. It is the least we could do to alleviate some of their suffering!"

Palpatine bowed his head as if in deep thought for a few moments before looking up. With the look on his face, Padme knew that her plea had fell on deaf ears. "I apologize again, but we cannot risk our precious funds that are needed for the war efforts."

Holding out the data pad in her arms she tried a last attempt, "But, chancellor-," though it was all in vain.

shaking his head, she knew the battle was over. She had lost.

_He didn't even attempt to read my bill_ she thought out in anger, her hand closing around the data disk with more force than was necessary.

Turning abruptly, Padme headed for the exit until he called out to her, "I terribly am sorry and I know you must be feeling disappointed, but I do hope that you will accept it so. Fortunately, I do know something that might lift your spirits."

_What could possibly lift my spirits from this_ she thought.

"I am not sure as to whether you are aware that master Kenobi and knight Skywalker are currently on planet. Why, they were just here in my office right before you came."

It took much effort on her part to conceal her delight of hearing the news that her beloved was in the same building as she. It also made the fact of the chancellor moving her appointment to accommodate her husband easier to accept hearing it from him, thought it did bring up some worry. Her husband and the Chancellor were a little too close for her liking. While she was completely fine with any close relationships that her husband had, something about the chancellor rubbed her in the wrong way. It might have been because of his continued rule in the senate as chancellor even as his time was long overdue, but the war had prevented any intervention, therefore leaving him in power...too much power.

_And to think that he was once a trusted friend and mentor..._

"Yes, I was aware of their arrival. It is good to hear that they are well and alive with all the fighting and death."

Smiling sadly he agreed, "so true."

Just as she was about to leave he called out to her once more, "Senator?"

Turning her head in his direction she answered curious, "yes?"

"I know that you have not seen your friend in quite a while, but was there anything, anything at all that was out of the ordinary when you last saw him?"

Growing alarmed at this question she sought out reassurance, "why, is he alright?"

"Oh, yes, yes, there is just something a bit...off with him when he came to report to me. I worry for the boy. The war seems to have taken a heavy toll on him, the poor man. That is why I was asking you to see if anything was wrong."

Feeling anxiety creep into her about this new tidbit, Padme now wanted more than anything to see her husband and be in his arms again. " I wasn't aware that something was bothering him." Purposely looking towards the chrono on the wall she excused herself. "Thank you for your time, but I must be leaving. I have much I still need to do." Then she left the office.

Meanwhile, Palpatine sat in his chair contemplating over the meager information he was given. Amidala was telling the truth, so it meant that it something had occurred during Skywalker time out in the front lines.

Hopefully this would only be a minor setback and things would revert to how they were originally, but deep down he knew that that was wishful thinking. Something was different and definitely wrong and Sidious had to fix it before it became a problem.

* * *

Pulling the younger man aside Obi-Wan whispered furiously, "what has gotten into you?"

"I don't know what you mean," Anakin feigned innocence while yanking away Obi-Wan's steel grip.

"Your behavior has been noticeable off, whether or not you have noticed it yourself."

Anakin continued to ignore Obi-Wan as he strode briskly down the hallways of the senate. While he was busy ignoring his former mentor, Anakin felt a bit of pride sweep in at how he had handled the situation with Sidious.

While it was less than ideal, he did not physically harm the man, which was an accomplishment in itself.

_Though it wasn't like he didn't deserve it_.

He had only struck out in the end with the mention of his wife. That man should never be allowed to speak of his angel. After all that man did to ruin his life, he **would** not let him near her.

The only way to do that was to kill the man himself.

_Soon_ he thought. His former sith life had actually made him more patient, a miracle at that. Alas, impulse never strayed far from him. 

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan was still calling out.

squeezing his flesh tighter into a fist Anakin could help but think in annoyance _why can't they all just leave me alone!_

Suddenly the most musical and soothing thing he had heard in fifteen years sounded out. "Anakin! It's so good to see you again," Padme's lyrical voice reached his ears.

There, standing not ten meters away was his angel.

Force, his memory did not do her any justice, she was everything he could remember, yet so much more.

Vaguely in the background could he hear Obi-Wan coming up behind him to greet her and she returned the greeting.

As she turned to meet his eyes once more, she smiled. While she seemed to wear the façade of a good friend happy to see her friend safe and sound, he could see past it. He could see the love shining in those chocolate orbs, the ones he loved to look at. Those plush, kissable lips, the ones he treated with such care each and love each and every time he returned to her. The brown tresses of soft wavy locks, the very same he loved to run his hands through.

It was too much his mind went into overdrive as thoughts flashed across his mind as if in light speed.

_She's alive-So beautiful-You killed her-Am I dreaming-She died by your hand-You don't deserve her, You never did-Does she still love me-Will she love me-She will hate me when she knows-That will never happen-How can she look at me-I missed you so much..._

And it continued on as he just stared wide-eyed at her.

Remembering what the Chancellor had mention during her meeting she called to him gently, "Anakin?"

It was as if his body was not his own, in some sort of auto-pilot. His feet took one step, then another, soon he was moving all too fast, and yet too slow for his liking.

Obi-Wan turned back to see his former apprentice standing as if shell-shocked and he sighed to himself before speaking, "Anakin stop standing there and greet the Senat-, Anakin!" Obi-Wan called out in shock.

The young jedi knight had turned and fled.


	7. Embrace

He could hear Obi-Wan shouting in shock as he fled the area where his wife stood, but he had barely heard it.

Anakin didn't see where he was going, he just ran as hard and fast as he could. He needed to get away, any place but the one he was just in. It felt as though everything was closing in on him, the walls collapsing, mocking him inside his head.

Seeing her, hearing her sweet gentle voice calling out to him, even with her façade he didn't care, she was beautiful, still loved and cared for him...and he had killed her.

Anakin could still remember it as clearly as if it had occurred yesterday. The smell of sulfur, the raging heat of Mufastar billowing in his face, surrounding him, overwhelming him. The pleading look on his beloved asking, no, begging him to run away with her. His refusal, then... the nightmare.

Padme's big soulful eyes staring at him, so full of hurt, sadness, and ****pain**** as she clawed futilely at her restricting throat. Tears streamed sorrowfully down her face, her consciousness slipping and the last thing he ever saw from her was an unspoken question conveyed without words-

_Why_...

Did he actually think that he could just waltz in as if nothing in the past fifteen year had ever occurred. He thought he could do that, just smile and be enveloped in her embrace, but that would never happen.

It could never happen!

He had hurt her! Stole the light that shone so brightly, a beacon to those who needed hope. Yet he was the one who extinguished it, the very beacon he tried to keep from fading...

Anakin's mind was so closed off to any and everything that he didn't notice when yelps of surprise that rung out from those he had passed and bumped into, neither did he hear the constant shouting of his former master trying to call his attention. Nor did he take note that he was no longer in the senate and was once again in the endless streets of Coruscant.

Everything was just so black, as if a black hole had consumed his mind rendering him the presence and sanity of the light. It was too much, it was just too much.

Anakin was unaware of his own self muttering, "stop it. Get out of my head, get out of my head," as if a sacred mantra.

Alas, the nightmare only continued, strengthening in horror. There was no escape as it only got worse.

Now in his eyes, all his failures passed through his mind in a pain-filled sequence. A montage of all the errors in life, things he was too weak to accomplish, all that he was never good enough for.

He never should have been freed from slavery.

He never should have become a jedi.

He never should have married an angel.

He never should have turned to the dark side.

He never should have been ...born.

The pressure in his head reach its peak as he stopped and clutched his head in a useless attempt to gain equilibrium.

"Aarrggggg! Stop! Enough-just," he choked out,"...enough," whispering a barely audible, "please..."

But the onslaught on emotion and memories did not cease its attack and Anakin stood there helpless on the street, onlooker staring in bewilderment at the insane man screaming to the sky.

Anakin needed a distraction, anything as long as it was something. Without thinking, he sprinted at full force towards the edge of the sidewalk and into the mass of speeders and vehicles and leapt into the air and descended into the dark.

* * *

The last thing Obi-Wan Kenobi expected out of his former apprentice was for him to turn tail and run as if an elite sith army was after him, especially not from who he thought it was.

Did Anakin really run away from the senator? ****The**** senator that Obi-Wan knew his former padawan held in high esteem. One of the few and trustworthy friends that Anakin cherished and kept in touch with. The very same who he, a few year back, had ordered said padawan not to pursue his unhealthy infatuation with. Senator Amidala?

It couldn't be. Yet, seeing the young man make a mad dash away from where they were, he couldn't help but think that Anakin was running from that very person.

Not knowing what to feel Obi-Wan turned to the senator to see how she had handled the situation. Like himself, she had no idea of what had happened and stood there looking baffled , and he noted mentally, a little hurt.

"What-"

"-happened?" Obi-Wan finished off her thoughts.

Nodding, she looked back to the direction that Anakin had ran off to feeling shocked, perplexed, and hurt. Subconsciously, it was as if Anakin had rejected her. Was this some sort of karma that occurred because she had chosen to do her duty first when in her heart she had wanted to running to her husband the minute she got word of his arrival?

_Anakin had always hated it when I had chosen to do my duty instead of spending the precious and few moments we had together..._ she thought sadly.

It was one of the few things that was the main reason of why they fought. Anakin was a man of passion, no matter how hard he tried to hide or suppress it. In fact, he couldn't. It was what made him the man Padme had come to love when they had met after their ten year long separation.

Obi-Wan spoke up again, " I apologize for Anakin's...odd behavior. He hasn't been feeling well this past week."

Snapping back to attention, Padme was about to question further on her husband's health when Obi-Wan took off sprinted in the direction Anakin had went, simply saying "I need to go."

_Anakin,_ Padme thought with worry, _what is going on?_

* * *

Obi-Wan dashed off in the direction that he had seen his former padawan go, using the force to make himself go faster to make up for lost time. Along the way he has seen evidence of Anakin's presence with some disarray of people along with fallen beings trying to gain some their bearings.

_Anakin!_ Obi-Wan thought with exasperation as he followed the trail of disaster left from his fleeing friend.

Finally, out of the senate halls, Obi-Wan stood amidst a crowd of wandering bodies of creatures going about their day, oblivious to the troubles that plagued the jedi master at the moment.

_Damn! Where is he?_ Obi-Wan wondered while frantically searching the mass of people. Spotting a fleeing person, Obi-Wan dashed forward, confirming to be the one he was searching for as he found the bright spark that was Anakin.

"Anakin!" He shouted. Trying again, he yelled louder, waving his arms in some attempt to gain the fleeing man's attention, but it was pointless because he did not even try to look behind to identify the caller.

As he was about to reach him, Anakin suddenly stopped and shouted with such anguish, it made Obi-Wan pause.

"Stop!" He heard Anakin shout, as if begging some unknown entity, "Enough-"

Hearing this made Obi-Wan's heart clench painfully seeing his former apprentice so full of pain, suffering.

About to call him again, Anakin surprised him once again by tearing through the crowds to jump off the sidewalk into the sea of air traffic to force knows where, yet it was so Anakin-like Obi-Wan didn't know whether it feel surprised or not by this action.

Jogging to the side, he looked down where Anakin had descended to see any trace of the man itself, but he had lost him.

_Blast it!_ Obi-Wan cursed inwardly. Catching his breath, he dragged his hand tiredly down his face to come to rest as his beard, thinking what to do next.

All of a sudden, he heard someone call his name. Turning around, he was surprised yet again by the sight of the senator.

"Senator? what are you doing here?"

Stopping to the side of him, Padme took a moment to compose herself before speaking, "I was concerned by the way knight Skywalker had taken off, so I came to check if everything was alright?"

Obi-Wan waited for the senator to elaborate but when she didn't he didn't press. He knew there was more as well as with her "concern" over Anakin, yet now was not the time to ponder over something like this. He needed to find Anakin and fix this situation. And fast.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Anakin, that's what," he said as Padme's gaze followed his when he looked at the direction Anakin had jumped.

* * *

The wind blew hazardously around Anakin as he fell story after story, matching his emotions and thoughts.

In the cacophony of the air traffic, speeders veered to the side to avoid collision of the falling man. One was not so lucky.

Landing hard on the dull blue vehicle, the elder man was shocked when he heard a resounding ****thud**** on the roof of his speeder, only to panic when a man slid down to the front.

_What in the name of-_ the man thought as he slammed his foot against the breaks sending the unknown man flying in the air.

Anakin had lost his hold on his unsteady grip on the speeder and went tumbling down only to drop onto another one.

_This was a really stupid idea..._ Anakin thought as he clenched his teeth as pain shot through his right shoulder as it collided with the vehicle.

This driver was not as forgiving as the other as he started to curse at Anakin in surprise then steer his speeder erratically left and right to rid himself of the unwanted passenger.

Anakin held on for his dear life as he swung wildly to the sides.

Exasperation filled the jedi knight as the driver was relentless in his mission to get Anakin off his ride. Grabbing his lightsaber with his free hand, Anakin activated the azure weapon and plunged it into the roof of the vehicle, stopping the frightened man at once.

Through the hole of the roof, Anakin only needed to say one word for the man to obey.

"Down," the jedi barked and the man could only do as ordered for fear of his life.

Steering carefully, the driver of the speeder's eyes quickly roamed the area for a safe place to park. Finding one suitable, he stared to move the vehicle in the direction.

Weary of the unwanted passenger on top of his speeder, the man looked up through the small hole to seek approval, but was only greeted by a menacing glare.

Panic flared in the man as he accidentally flinched in movement, his left leg banging against the steering wheel causing the vehicle to unintentionally take a nose dive.

Taken by surprise, Anakin had lost his holding and was once again falling, only to drop into a dark, filthy, abandoned alleyway, crashing on top of an old dumpster.

A few seconds had passed before he had made any attempt to move. Anakin hissed in pain as he gingerly got up, inspecting to see if any serious damage had been dealt. Seeing none, he could only feel the ache on his back with the fall he had taken. Turning his head, he could see the man that he had ordered to land manage to get in control and was speeding off into the unknown.

"Useless.." Anakin muttered standing on his feet.

Looking at his surroundings, he noted that it wasn't much to look at. It was like any old alleyway where gangs preyed on unfortunate being that dared enter, those who had given up on life lurked, and in most cases, his kind.

The ones that crashed down for force knows what reasons because of their stupidity. He could think of Obi-Wan looking at him in amused defeat giving one of his famous lectures about how he acted first then thought later.

Given the circumstance though, he really couldn't have though any more, least his head explode from the pain and regret of it all.

Anakin couldn't even muster enough strength to be angry at himself for having thought of Obi-Wan.

Slowly walking out of the alleyway, he looked around. There was little to no one in sight and that was just fine by him. The less people the better. He didn't have anywhere in particular to go. The only two homes that he seemed to once upon a time care for were no longer an available option.

One was the jedi temple. A place he felt regret and hatred equally.

The other was in 500 Republica, or more like the person that resided in there. But he did not deserve her, he didn't belong there anymore. Not now...not ever. There wasn't anywhere to go so he did the only thing he could at the moment, he started to walk, and walk he did.

While jumping into a mass of ships and speeders wasn't the smartest decision, it did help Anakin gain some stability on his fragile state of mind.

Now instead of the constant regret and self-pity that had, moments before, attacked him viciously like deadly serpents, his mind was only numb void that was forming a headache not far behind.

* * *

He did not know how long he had been walking. For all he knew, it could have been minutes or hours, maybe even days. Anakin didn't know, nor did he particularly care.

He just continued to walk even as he heard the warning rumbles of thunder in the distance, or the light feathery fall of raindrops that kissed his face as it steadily got heavier.

Nothing mattered.

He was empty.

Anakin actually paused his step as he thought of how he looked right now. Drenched, alone, miserable, he couldn't help but feel that he deserved the title of "pathetic life-form" that Obi-Wan had once graced him with when they had first met.

Spotting an abandoned crate, he carefully set himself down, pulling his hood up higher to try to cover himself more.

_What do I do now_ he thought absently.

It had all seemed so easy at first.

Come back to the past, kill Palpatine and prevent the death of his beloved so he could love and cherish her for the rest of his life.

Instead he couldn't do the things he had wanted. Prevented from taking his rightfully earned revenge, he was forced to stand by the side and act of nothing had ever happened. And so what if it hadn't happened yet!

He knew what had happened. He was there! He was the one who had suffered and no one was there to help! And now they all come to him, pleading Anakin to tell them what was wrong, what he needed help in.

His problem was them!

And then there was the subject of his wife.

Padme may have not known anything that had led him to be the way he was, but that was still no excuse for him to go up to her and act as if nothing had passed between them.

How could he when all he could see after his long awaited reunion was her tear-stained face that looked upon him in fear? In betrayal?

This was not the way he pictured anything happening, but lo and behold, nothing had ever worked out in his favor. When did it ever?

Even if he did kill Palpatine and ever was just fine and dandy, it would not be. Nothing would change.

he wouldn't be able to go back to living his old life. Everyone he loved and trusted were all his enemies or he just couldn't be with them any longer.

There was no point in him coming back to the past.

Anakin right then and there wanted to cry. He wanted the hot and hurtful tears to burn an angry path down his face. But all he did was bite his lip and refuse to give in to the heavy urge.

He would not show weakness. Not even if he was in no one's presence.

The least he could do was save what was left of his failing pride.

* * *

Humming a tuneless melody, the large Besalisk had a bounce in his step from the pleasant day he was having; not even the rain could disrupt it.

Just having bought new ingredients for his recipes, Dex made his way back to his diner. Along the way he took notice of a lone figure, sitting by itself in the rain, head bowed in a look a defeat.

Dex stopped in his tracks as he felt sorry for the poor creature. What appeared to be a man had the same sign of loss that once upon a time Hermione had. Now she was a cheerful, loyal friend and employee at his diner. Feeling his heart go out to the poor soul Dex approached the man.

"Hey, sonny, what seem to be the matter?" Dex asked gently.

It took a while before Anakin realized that someone was speaking to him as he was so lost in his musings.

Looking up slowly he was surprised to see a friend from the past.

"Dex," he stated.

Recognition lit in the great Besalisk's face as he took in the features of the young man.

"Anakin! Now, whatcha doin' out 'ere in the rain."

_Good question_ Anakin thought to himself.

"I..." realizing that he didn't know what to say, he only replied with the truth, "I don't know."

The young man looked like all hope was lost, his eyes had the look of death upon them as his spirit. Where was the confident, cocky man Dex knew? This man before him looked to be a shell of said man.

Coming to a decision Dex bent down on one knee and said, "C'mon, let's go."

Confusion met the Baselisk's eyes. Standing to his full height, Dex repeated once more, "C'mon, son, let's get you outta the rain."

The young man hesitated, but then complied. After all, where else could he go?

Following the burly alien, Anakin was led to the small diner he had once frequented with Obi-Wan.

Opening the door with gusto, Dex bellowed out, " 'ermione! I'm back. Look whose 'ere."

Coming out of the kitchen carrying a tray full of orders, Hermione appeared and her eyes lit up as did her smile.

"Well hey there champ! Long time no see. I was beginning to wonder if you got tired of us common folk and enjoying the high life," she said jokingly.

Normally in the past, Anakin would have happily bantered with the waitress but now, he didn't share an ounce of her exuberance.

Glancing questioningly at Dex, Hermione raised her eyebrow in question but the baselisk just shook his head 'no'.

Gesturing Anakin to take a seat in a booth, Dex called to the waitress," 'ermione, can you fetch the young man something to drink. Something hot would be nice, he's been out in the rain for awhile."

"Sure thing, Dex." and she was gone and back again with a steaming cup of caff.

"Here you go," Hermione said as she placed the warm drink in front of Anakin.

The jedi wasn't paying attention as he was lost in his own world. The waitress looked at Dex again, but he shrugged and waved her off.

"Anakin," Dex tried to gain the man's attention. One of his big, beefy arms pushed the drink towards the jedi.

Changing his focus to the Baselisk, Anakin finally noticed the drink.

Silently dragging the cup to himself, Anakin mumbled a thanks as stared at the steaming cup before bringing it to his lips. Sipping slowly, Anakin relished the hot liquid's soothing path down his throat. It was then that he noticed just how thirsty and hungry he was.

When was the last time he had actually had a decent drink or meal?

With renewed vigor, Anakin drain the cup before wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his cloak.

Once he was done, a plate of food was set before him. looking up, Anakin saw Hermione give him a warm smile and a wink before sauntering off to go take someone else's orders.

"I never-"

"It's on the house," said Dex, "ya look like you need one. When's the last time ya had a decent meal.?"

_Fifteen years_ , but he didn't reply. Instead he nodded his thanks and went to work on his meal.

With the first bite, his mouth was in heaven. Rich flavors was bursting in his tongue as he all but devoured his meal. It had been so long since he had had a decent meal. His sith life was lived as a machine while the few days that he had been back in the past, he was given ration bars. True they were a good source of nutrition and vitamins, just what was required for a soldier; too bad he couldn't say the same in terms of taste.

_Dex really knows how to make a good nerf steak_ Anakin though absently.

As he was finishing the last of his meal, Dex decided to approach the young man again.

What were ya doin' all by yourself in the rain? Ain't Obi-Wan wit'cha?"

Anakin shook his head slightly.

"Are ya doin' jedi business right now?"

Again his response was a shake of the head.

"Why aren't 'cha home then?"

At this Anakin's emotionless mask cracked a bit as a look of sadness swept over. "I don't...have a home. I don't have anywhere to go to."

Sympathy washed the old Baselisk as he leaned back in his seat. "What's troublin' ya, son?"

The young man did not reply at first but then asked so softly.

"Have you ever done something you've regretted, then pretended that it never happened?"

Dex gave a hearty laugh, "Oh, there are many things I have done in my time, some good, some fun, and some, not so glamorous. Did I regret anything," the alien lifted his head in thought, one of his hands tapping at his chin. 'Yes, I have. Did I pretend that it never happened, again, yes I have."

"What did you do? How could you live with it?"

A sad smile graced Dex's face. " I accept what I've done, then I move on."

"How?" Anakin all but pleaded. Dex could see the strain on the young man. The war was taking its toll on the 'Hero with No Fear'. Anakin was barely an adult and yet, the responsibility placed in his shoulders was destroying him.

"Ya can't hide from the mistakes or action you've done. Ya learn from them, the make sure they never happen again. Ya forgive yourself."

Anakin took the time to let the words sink in. "Wait if we can't?" he whispered.

"Ya can and ya will. You're a strong kid, Anakin."

"But what've I did something that can never be forgiven; that no one will forgive? Then what?"

Dex contemplated the jedi's words for a moment then replied, "ya know, there's this sayin' that states 'sometimes the best become the worst out of good intentions', and I believe that you may be one if your problem troubles you so much."

The words took their time to sink in Anakin's head. It was somewhat true about the saying. He only wanted the best for those he loved and cherished, but look where he ended because of it. The saying was too close to home for Anakin's liking .

"I...see" was all the young man said.

Dex nodded, "ya think things through and I'm sure you'll find an answer."

Nodding in acknowledgment, Anakin stood up and thanked the baselisk. "Thanks for...everything," he said flailing his arms to gesture about the meal and advice.

"No problem. Good 'ol Dex 'ere had the pleasure of feeding an empty stomach. Come back again if ya need anything else."

Anakin thanked the alien again, but this time, with as much sincerity as he could muster, "Thank you, Dex."

He then existed the diner and headed out.

* * *

He didn't know why he was here. By right, he shouldn't be anywhere near here, but he couldn't. He was too weak to ignore the pull that called him to this very place.

Anakin stood in the shadows as he watched his beloved slumber. She was restless as she tossed and turned in her sleep.

Anakin wanted nothing more than to comfort her, but her dared not touch her. Not with his blood soaked hands. The hands that claimed life, her life.

Suddenly, Padme's tossing and turning ceased as she found what she was supposedly looking for. A small smile graced her lips as she murmured, "Anakin," with a soft sigh.

Anakin froze in the spot where he was standing.

_Does she know I'm here? How? When?_ he thought frantically but peered at her sleeping form to see that she was only dreaming.

With that knowledge, Anakin's heart ached for her. But he couldn't, he just couldn't.

Walking carefully closer to his wife, Anakin couldn't help but look down at her in love. Although he had hurt her and didn't deserve her, he still loved her deeply.

Trying hard to stifle the weary sigh, Anakin backtracked out of the room, but not before accidentally banging his foot against the vanity table, successfully stubbing his toes through his boots.

Inwardly cursing, Anakin couldn't help but think back to the time when the very same thing had occurred to him. He had come back to her after a grueling two months out in the outer rim and wanted to surprise his sleeping wife. Even with all his jedi abilities and battle experience, he still managed to miss the leg of the table and stub his toe causing him to unintentionally curse out loud, thus waking his wife. Oh, how she had laughed at his carelessness.

Now was no different.

Jolting up into a sitting position, Padme scanned the room and caught Anakin red-handed. Even in the dark he could see her raise an eyebrow in amusement as she chuckled at him.

He was about to bolt out of the room but he eyes seemed to have cast a spell on him making his feet stay firmly put.

"Ani!" she said with so much joy in her voice.

Padme started to get up from her bed, but as she approached him, he only back away.

"Ani?" she asked. Confusion and hurt could be found in her voice.

Anakin wanted to say something, anything, but his mouth remain stubbornly shut and his mind void of what to say.

But it was his angel that spoke first, and surprise him she did, "I'm sorry," she said.

_Sorry? Sorry for what? What could she have possibly have done to be sorry for?_

As if reading his mind Padme spoke out, "Today I heard of yours and Obi-Wan's arrival, but I chose to continue working instead of trying to find you." Looking guiltily at her she continued in a soft voice, "I chose duty over us, again. I'm sorry." Looking up she asked him "I know we always fight and I always say that duty is important, it's not true, I swear. Are you mad at me? Is that why you left so suddenly?"

"No!" he roared.

Taken back by the intensity of his reply, Padme looked stunned by his outburst.

Seeing how his angel reacted, he tried again with more control.

"No, never. I just...I had other things in my mind."

"Oh," was her only reply.

He couldn't stay. "I-I have to go" he said as he pivoted on his foot to the direction out of the room.

"Leave? But you just got here. Stay with me, please," she begged with pleading eyes.

He found it hard to move and just like that, with one word, she had somehow rendered him incapable of leaving her.

"Ani," his name was spoken with love and adoration. "Come to bed with me."

He crumbled right then.

"I can't!" he screamed.

"Ani-"

"No! I can't! I-I.."

Padme moved closer to her distraught husband in order to comfort him but he did something that she never would have thought he would do to her.

he force pushed her back to the bed. It was not violent, but more of a gentle push, but he had never done something like that to her, at least not when they weren't in danger.

Realizing his actions, Anakin felt guilt once more wash upon his broken soul.

"I...I'm so sorry. I-" Anakin choked on the words. The look on his angel's face was enough to make him want nothing more than death. Her eyes looked at him in shock and hurt.

Even now he was still able to hurt her. It was always him. He was the shadow that hid her light; the monster that lurked in the dark. Angels didn't deserve to be cast to the side. They were meant to be worshipped, to shine their radiance brighter than any other being. All he ever did was hold that back, hide it. How could she love him?

Something akin to determination was seen on padme's face as she walked up to her husband and cupped his face his her small hands.

Her touch made his knees weak.

"Anakin."

He refused to look at her for fear of what he would see. She tried again.

"Anakin, look at me."

This time he gave in and only saw love and acceptance in her chocolate eyes.

"Tell me what's wrong. Don't shut me out. Let me help you." Stroking his cheek absently she whispered words that he had long to hear in his dreams." I love you."

"I-you can't, " Anakin didn't notice the tears that trailed its path down his cheek. Finally the truth came bursting out, 'I don't deserve you!" he cried out.

"What?" Out of all the replies she was expecting, this was not one of them. "Where did that come from?"

"I don't deserve you. You-You could do so much better than me. Without me, you could live a life free of secrecy. Could love the whomever you choose and be happy. Instead...you choose me and now you live a life that isn't fulfilling, a love that isn't fulfilling." The tears flowed freely now as he continued on, least he loose his nerve and clamp up. " I was never good enough. I mean, Why should a beautiful queen want a lowly slave like me? You should have so much more, and yet I can give you nothing! All I do is hurt you! No matter what, I always do!"

Padme couldn't speak awhile after hearing his revelation. A million thoughts flew through her head, but none of them accepted or liked the idea of what her husband had said.

All the while, Anakin remained where he was rooted, sorrow rolling off him in waves.

_This will not do_ Padme thought with determination.

She took his hand and led him to their bed and she sat down, tugging him to follow. Once he was reluctantly seated, she spoke. "Anakin, what nonsense are you talking about?"

He was about to speak but she shut him up with a finger place on his lips. "Anakin," she began," The reason why I choose you is because I wanted no other. No one else will ever make me feel the same as you do or will ever make me as happy. I don't need priceless jewelry or gifts, you are more than enough. If I wanted any of those things, I would have just married any rich, greedy suitor that could care less about me nor I him. And who cares of what you once were. It doesn't change the man I see before me. You're a strong, honorable, gentle and loving man. I am proud to be your wife and will have it no other way." Then softly she caressed his cheek and leaned in to kiss his lips. Anakin stiffened, but she ignored him and pressed her sweet lips onto his then looked into his eyes. "You have my body, soul and heart, it belong to you and only you. Always."

Taking a shaky breath, "but you won't forgive me."

"Forgive you?"

Nodding he forced out, "I've done things. Horrible things. Things that you will never forgive me for. Things that you will...hate me...and never love me for. "

Padme's mind took her back to the time of the Tusken Raiders massacre.

_Oh Ani, what did you do_ she thought sadly. Regardless of what he did, she would stick by him and she told him so.

"Anakin, no matter what happens, I will always love you, I won't hate you. I get angry at you at time, yes, but I will never hate you."

"Yes you will," he muttered in self-disgust. "I'm a monster."

Bringing his face to meet her eyes again she stroked the stubborn curls that covered his face to her. "You're not a monster. Monsters could care less of who they hurt, they don't share an ounce of regret or sympathy. Most of all they cannot love another. My love, those are exactly the things you do too much. Whatever you say isn't going to change anything. It looks like you're stuck with me," she said with a smile.

Hearing all this from her, feeling her love and warmth, it was what he needed. What he had craved for so long. The dam had broke and a flood of tears made their presence known as Anakin accepted the embrace of his wife. He held her tight as she soothed the broken man, whispering sweet nothings in his ear while stroking his head tenderly.

He was wrong. There was somewhere he was still accepted, love, and belonged.

He was home.


	8. Hurt

He could feel small hands stroking his head, pushing aside his curly blond locks in a tenderly fashion. Loving kisses were peppered across his face as an angel spoke his name.

"Ani," she cooed at him.

This was heavenly. Anakin felt like he was floating, high in bliss and he never wanted to return from this. Opening his eyes languidly, he saw his beloved smiling at him as she continued to stroke him.

"Well, hello there." Padme greeted him smiling.

"Are you an angel?" He asked.

Her sweet, sweet laughter rang out and it was utter music to his ears.

"No, I'm not, but a certain someone thinks I am."

Padme's smile was contagious and Anakin felt one lighting up on his features, "Well, that someone must be a wise man. How could one not see an angel before them, even a blind person couldn't miss you."

lightly swatting his chest, Padme giggled, " always the charmer."

Propping himself up on his elbows, Anakin reached his flesh hand to caress his wife's soft, smooth skin. "You're here," he said simply.

Puzzled Padme answered, "of course I am, why wouldn't I be?"

"You're here," he repeated, "after fifteen years you came back to me."

"What?" Now Padme started to grow alarmed. She had thought that last night's breakdown was a temporary one. It wasn't that unusual for Anakin to get too tightly wound and react badly to it. Usually after seeing her and spending some quality time together, Anakin would be back to his old normal self. Clearly this was not the case.

Suddenly a lonely tear slid with ease down the youthful face of the man known as the 'Hero with no Fear'.

"Ani?" she started to get worried. Then his face crumbled into a mask of despair as he looked away.

"No," he whispered almost inaudibly to no one in particular, " this is just another dream. One that I will soon wake from. Where everything will go back to is way it is...all alone."

"Anakin," she said while turning his stubborn head to look at her, "You're not alone. I'm real and I'm here. Most of all, I'm not going anywhere."

"Liar!" Anakin shook his head in disbelief. "That's what you always say! What everyone says! You're all dead, everyone. All killed by..." The last word was too soft to be heard by Padme.

"This isn't a dream." Padme tried to reassure her husband. "Everyone isn't dead. The people you love are all here. You have me, Obi-Wan-"

"Obi-Wan!" Anakin spat in disgust. "He isn't anyone I need, I should have seen the through the lies that he told me, but I was too blind to do so. To think he might actually care," Anakin spat bitterly.

Padme was appalled by her husband's words. In all her years with him, sure he may have complained and whined about his master from time to time, but to say that he didn't want Obi-Wan in his life. Something was wrong. Very, very wrong.

"Anakin, do you hear what you're saying!"

He looked calmly towards her, "I know exactly what I'm saying, what I should have said in the very beginning."

"That's not true. You love obi-Wan, and he loves you too though he will never say it out loud. How can you say such a thing."

"I only speak the truth."

There was a pregnant silence between the two, the happy moment before long gone replaced by a tension so great Padme didn't think a lightsaber could cut through it.

Clearly not knowing what to say, Padme wringed her hands together trying to think of a way to broach a way to identify her husband's problem without him shutting down.

"Anakin-," she began.

"You know what we should do?" Anakin said out of the blue.

Tilting her head slightly to the side, she questioned, "do?"

"Yeah!" Anakin replied excitedly. "Let's just go to Naboo, just the two of us. No one else. No war, no Politics, no troubles, no distractions; Just us."

"Go to Naboo, right now? Anakin, there are just too many things going on right now. We can't just get up and go when we want to, we have a responsibility-"

"Fuck responsibility!" He growled.

Padme quieted down as Anakin continued to rant, "We give so much, and for what?" He snorted in disgust, "responsibility has taken everything away from me once, I won't let that happen again," he finished looking straight at her.

Why couldn't she understand! This was their chance to run and go. To forget everything and run away.

_Let us experience peace and live the life we had always wanted for the both of us_ he thought in desperation.

"Anakin," Padme decided to put her foot firmly on the ground, "we can't. I know times like now are difficult, suffocating even, but we must not put our needs above duty. You know that as well as I do. And while you may be fine with giving everything up and going, I can't."

"And what had duty ever brought the both of us?" He questioned angrily. "Honor, glory? You and me could care less about that."

Padme was about to speak but Anakin placed his hand up in a gesture of silence. "Admit it, You may love your duty and what you do, but at the end of the day, as rewarding and happy the people look you're left feeling empty inside. While the people you help laugh and enjoy their lives, here we are suffering in silence with our obligations. "His eyes seem to bare into her soul as he continued onwards, "give our hopes and dreams a chance for once, don't push it into the sidelines for the sake of duty."

Padme bit her bottom lip and looked down. He was right. Though she had loathe to admit it, he was right in some ways. While she did love her duty to those of her people, their marriage was a heavy burden that bared down to the both of them. A joyous but painful burden that she had absolutely no desire to give up.

Padme's resolve on Anakin's idea was slowly crumbling at the seams.

"Don't we deserve a bit of happiness for once. Without the constant scrutiny of others telling us what we should do, how to live our lives?" he questioned firmly while glaring down at his leather covered mechanical arm.

Padme opened her mouth but nothing came out. How was she suppose to snap him out of this one? In these types of moods, it would take a catastrophe and then some before Anakin would relent to anything. This problem would take some major delicate poking and prodding with the occasional coaxing.

Thinking he needed time to cool off she switched the topic altogether.

"I cleared my day while you were still sleeping. Can we please not waste our precious time together on arguing." Padme was more than surprised at what she had said and suggested. It was the type of words that Anakin was the one always saying, and yet she was here saying the exact same words with hints of desperation laced in her voice.

Anakin narrowed his eyes and was about to say more but then shut it abruptly and nodded numbly.

Smiling now Padme extended her hand.

He looked up in a questioning gaze as she answered his unspoken question.

"Are you going to lie in bed all day? I don't know about you but I'm pretty hungry right now so I'm going to get something to eat. Care to join?"

Anakin immediately reached for her hand and followed her to the kitchenette, not for the food (though he was hungry) but to be in her presence as long as he could.

_I will convince her to come with me_ Anakin thought while he looked at Padme's back as she gathered plates.

She could feel his intense gaze bearing into her back and thought to herself, _I'm going to solve this puzzle sooner or later_.

Hopefully sooner the better.

* * *

Obi-Wan Kenobi paced the modest living room space glancing at the chrono every few seconds or so. Anakin had still yet to come in and announce his presence to the council or him for the matter. If that wasn't enough, Obi-Wan could not contact him at all.

It wasn't an abnormal occurrence for the master jedi to be unaware of his former padawan's whereabouts, but it was only rare occasions that Obi-Wan couldn't get in contact with the young man (Albeit after trying numerous times).

Anakin would always come back to the temple in the morning or give some sign that he was still existing, but the former master continued to pace as he had none.

Earlier on, Obi-Wan checked Anakin's sparse but messy apartment for any sign or where the young man had gone off to, but didn't find anything.

The most concerning thing to the jedi master was that he had yet to tell the council of Anakin's strange behavior. He didn't know what had possessed him to keep this to himself, but it felt right at the time to see if her could handle the situation before bringing more into this complication.

If he had to wait any further, Obi-Wan didn't have much faith that he could keep up the pretense of normalcy (If one could call Anakin's disappearance for the night and indignant actions normal, which unfortunately, he could...to a certain extent.)

How could he help the man when he didn't even know where he was. Then it clicked.

_Of course_!

Why didn't he think of it sooner.

Obi-Wan made a beeline for the door as fast and dignified as he could.

_Force, please let him be there_ Obi-Wan thought in desperation.

* * *

It felt so familiar yet alien at the same time. There they were, back in bed talking about everything and nothing, but avoiding the issued that needed to be addressed the most. While that wasn't that bad of an unfamiliar occurrence, the way he acted around her was.

During their idle chatter was the familiar loving, gentle caress. Though Padme found it strange at the rather timid attempts of touch as Anakin was anything but timid in their relationship. When Padme tried to encourage attempts to something more it was all a failed endeavor. It seemed that Anakin physically shied away for her.

It had hurt.

But more concerning was why.

And she had no idea why.

She wanted to address the topic of her concern, but was afraid that is was related in any way to the previous problem. If so, then this was becoming a much larger concern than she had anticipated.

Reaching up to him, Padme let her small hands run down the hard planes of Anakin's chest. Giving him a mischievous look, she leaned in to kiss him, only for him to turn to the side in the last minute to deflect the kiss to his cheek instead.

Frowning and hurt, Padme looked away but Anakin realized his mistake.

"Padme, I-" But was interrupted by the light rapping on the bedroom door followed by the ever faithful but annoying voice of C3P0.

"I'm terribly sorry to interrupt, but Master kenobi has arrived."

Bolting up right, Anakin adopted a darker tone in his voice, "What? When?"

"Why just moments ago, master Anakin. He request Mistress Padme's presence. How should I proceed ?"

It took a moment of silence and darkness before he replied back, "send him away. Don't let him anywhere in here," he stated with finality.

"Right away, master Anakin." The sound of footstep echoed away.

Smirking at the door, the two ignored it until not only minutes later the same rapping could be heard on the door again.

"I apologize for coming back here once more, but master Kenobi refuses to leave. Why, it was rather rude of him to barge in here-"

"He did what!" Anakin roared while getting out of the bed.

"Ani.."

"Padme, stay here and let me take care of things. Don't worry, it will only take a moment," he added in the end when he saw her hesitation.

_Take care of this? I should be the one to do it_. Padme got out of the bed to tell him to stop but he was already out of the room.

* * *

Obi-Wan Kenobi was a man that had patience and above all, respected boundaries. But this was not a time for boundaries or patience.

He knew that Anakin was here, could practically feel the force screaming at him about it.

Patience and respect could wait where Anakin was concerned.

Glancing around the elegant and lavish apartment, Obi-Wan could see the retreating figure of the golden droid as he knew that the droid would bring the one he wanted the most.

Standing firm, Obi-Wan braced himself from the less than pleasant confrontation.

It was a good thing too. It was only a minute later when he heard the harsh, heavy footfall of a certain someone.

A someone who looked beyond enraged.

_Here we go_ Obi-Wan thought to himself.

"What are you doing here, and what do you want?" Anakin spat.

"I could very well ask the same to you."

Marching right up to the older man, Anakin was only inches away as spoke in a low, deadly whisper, "You have no right, no right to barge in here and demand what you want." Leaning back slightly Anakin let out a harsh laugh. "What, after all those years of nagging me of respect and control and now this. Yeah, I can see you setting a great example. You deserve an applause."

Obi-Wan just let out an exasperated sigh before looking the younger man straight in the eye.

"I didn't come here for a fight. I just came for answers."

"Then you shouldn't have come at all."

The older jedi's lips thinned in frustration. "I'm trying to help, but you're not letting me. How can I hope to help fix what troubling you if You. Won't. Let. Me. In!"

"Maybe it's because I. Don't. Want. To!"

Both men glared at the other, breathing deeply with barely constrained emotions.

"Anakin..."

The two turned to see Padme's confused and quickly growing concerned face staring back at them.

Her eyes practically begging, asking 'what's going on?'

Without looking back at his former master Anakin replied, "It's nothing, go back to the room. I'll join you in a minute."

Obi-Wan could barely hide the shock from his face ,yet he didn't even know why he felt it. He had suspected all along. From the many absentees to the longing looks he had caught when the younger man had thought no one was looking.

Turning back to face the jedi master Anakin scoffed.

"Surprised? Angry? Confused? You'd think I'd just listen to your orders and give up the best thing in my life. Your wrong. Everything's wrong!"

Obi-Wan was at a loss for words.

"I'm sick of hiding. Hiding something that so many share but not us. NOT US! This is more that you see-"

"Anakin!" Padme shouted in warning.

"No, Padme. I don't want to keep this a secret only for the two of us. Who are they to deny us the right to be happy!...We're married," was his final declaration.

Just like that the room was encased in deadly silence. The mood could be felt by even the most oblivious stranger. Confusion. Anger. Hurt.

"Did you think that it was just some casual fling? Or some hopeless puppy love crush. No, It's not. It never was."

The room filled with silence once more.

"Why...Why didn't you tell me?"

"And what? Have you tell the whole council like the perfect little jedi everyone thinks you are? You aren't!

"...I never said I was perfect. I would have-"

"You would have what? So what're you going to do now?"

_What am I going to do?_ Obi-Wan was torn between his duty and the one he secretly called his brother and son.

Quietly stepping forward, Padme was now directly behind her husband, frantically thinking of ways to salvage this situation. Unfortunately, nothing came to mind. It was over. All over.

"Anakin," Obi-Wan started but was cut off.

"Leave now, and don't come back here."

"No."

"Go NOW."

"No, not without you."

"Go!"

"I will not-"

"I HATE YOU!"

Any semblance of warmth was sucked out of the room by the ring of those three words.

Obi-Wan had thought that the dozens of countless injuries he had acquired during the war had hurt. That when his fellow jedi brethren had fallen at the hands of the Separatists, had hurt. When his own master had perished at the hands of the sith, had hurt.

But standing here now with the words echoing off in his mind, seeing the very man he had raised and... _loved_ seething with hatred made the words all the more real. After Qui-Gon had died, he thought nothing could have hurt more.

How so very wrong he was.

"Get out." Pointing to himself then the jedi master he continued, "whatever we had together never existed. It was an illusion created by unfortunate circumstances. You were always complaining about me and my 'disobedience' day in and day out, well, I release you of the burden of dealing with me. I don't ever want to see you again. "

Each and every word was breaking the always carefully composed jedi into a million pieces as he felt the air in his lungs give out only filled with a suffocating feeling of pain.

Padme could only look on in complete shock and disbelief.

Hate Obi-Wan? Anakin was physically incapable of that. How could he say such a thing? To even think it?

Without another word, Anakin stalked off, half leading half dragging a bewildered Padme. All the while leaving Obi-Wan by himself as the two retreated off.

He didn't move for force knows how long. It could have been a minutes or countless hours, but it didn't matter anymore.

"Master...Kenobi," came the tentative call from the golden droid, "Are you...alright?"

Rising his head to meet the droid's he took his time to stare making C3PO quite uncomfortable before hurriedly leaving, pushing past the hopelessly confused droid.

Nothing registered anymore to the Jedi master. All that he could hear was the poisonous echo-

_I HATE YOU..._


	9. Puzzle

The liquid amber sloshed lazily side to side in its confinement. The ice clinking every few seconds with a soft bell like resonance. Raising the glass to his parched lips, Obi-Wan downed the glass of its contents with a upwards tilt of his head only to nod back down in defeat.

Feeling the buzz of the strong alcohol kick in, Obi-Wan felt a moment of satisfaction which quickly evaporated when he found that the ache still persisted.

The dull painful ache which clenched his heart, constricting so tightly he felt as though he couldn't breathe. No matter how much Obi-Wan seemed to drink, the pain wouldn't go away nor would the three heartfelt words that his former apprentice thought to be true.

_I HATE YOU!_

They kept echoing and echoing, the voice in his mind constant, never quieting for a merciful moment.

Looking up to the bartender Obi-Wan pushed his drink forth for more. The bartender looked skeptical, but said nothing as he refilled the glass.

Absently, the jedi master tried to think which would win. Would he drink until the ache finally subsided, if not only for a while, or would he drink till he passed out in this dingy little catina he happened to encounter in this trying time?

Either option, he didn't care. After all, everything was falling apart. The galaxy, the order, why even his beloved former apprentice and their friendship. Everything was cracking at the seams. It was only a matter of time before something occurred that would shatter Obi-Wan's already fragile world.

* * *

Anakin sighed for the fifth time that night. No matter what he said, justified or claimed, Padme would not believe him. She wouldn't even look much less listen to what he had said.

She had no reason to be angry at him, much less disappointed. No reason at all. Besides, he did what was necessary. Why couldn't she see that? Obi-Wan didn't need to be in their lives.

For so long the older jedi's presence had been one of constant scrutiny towards him and his life. Always telling, no, warning him not to give in to his feelings. To be the perfect jedi.

He couldn't be the perfect jedi, Much less a perfect sith. He couldn't be any so at least he could try to be a good husband.

And by getting rid of the older jedi he was doing just that.

It was completely justifiable! Now only if Padme were to see eye to eye.

There was nothing wrong...

Nothing at all.

Everything is the way it is suppose to be. The wrong having been righted...right?

_Wait, what?!_ Anakin thought in alarm.

He was now second guessing himself why? How?

Everything he did was right. Correct. Good for his and his wife's future.

But something felt wrong.

A gnawing, bitter and dark feeling. Something Anakin couldn't quite place his finger on. Then he had it. It was untouched frustration that he hadn't expelled when the older jedi had dropped by earlier. The feeling of regret and loss at just having let the older man go so easily. He should have put a good punch between the eyes or a knee in the stomach. That would have been quite a satisfying feeling. Yes, it would most definitely.

Suppressing the urge to sigh once more, Anakin pivoted on his foot and stared down his wife. No reaction. She continued to ignore him while flipping through files on her data pad.

Growing annoyed, with a lift of his hand the offending object made its way to his hand via the force. The smirk that had covered his face at the success of finally catching her attention vanished the moment a fatal glare was directed towards him by his beloved.

"Will you listen to me for just a moment," he asked exasperated.

"Why should I give you a moment of my time when you obviously won't give me any of yours!"

Anakin winced at the sharp but controlled and clipped tone of his wife. "I thought you said that you didn't want to waste today by fighting. Why can't we just let this go?"

"Let this go? Let this go!" Anakin realized that that was the wrong way to approach this topic. "Anakin, when I said to stop all the fighting, that was before you alienated and hurt Obi-Wan. What has gotten into you?"

"It was the right thing to do."

"The right thing?"

"Yes."

Padme huffed in frustration. The things this man could man her feel. "And pray tell me how it was 'the right thing' exactly?"

"He's always butting in our lives telling us what to do. To forget our feelings. It didn't work. I'm glad it didn't."

"Yes, but did you need to go about it like that?"

Anakin looked at her in puzzlement. "Go about it like what."

Padme threw her hands up in annoyance, "telling him you hate him! How could you do that."

"I meant every word," he claimed freely.

"Did you now?"

"Yes."

"Anakin, how would you feel if he said those same words to you."

"Like I would care-"

"How about if it was me?"

This silenced Anakin as he just stared at her. "Go and apologize, Anakin. You have no idea how much you have hurt him."

He snorted in disgust, "hardly."

"I'm serious, if not then this conversation is over. I have nothing more to say to you, or do with you in the time being."

This claim shocked him. She wanted nothing to do with him now? Was it not she who said that she would always be by his side, never leaving. Why now has she left him for a man who was obsessed with ruining the love they had shared together.

"No." Anakin stood his ground definitely.

Padme continued to walk towards the door.

Using the force, he stopped her in his tracks repeating himself, "no."

Stunned at the use of the force on her she turned to face him, the two trying to stare the other down to submission.

Just as the air couldn't become thicker, a comlink chimed making its presence known. It was padme's as she reached towards the table next to the luxurious couch and answered.

"Senator Amidala speaking."

"Oh, Mistress padme!" the frazzled voice of C3PO sounded. "I, ah, have been most successful in the mission you have sent me on! why, you would not believe-"

"Thank you, C3PO. I'll be there shortly."

gathering the items needed, Padme started off once again to the door.

"And just where are you going?"

Without turning back she answered casually, "I asked C3PO to track down someone for me. I think that they may need some help on a case their having difficulties on. You know how the senate is these day, in utter chaos. I really think he could use my help."

"I thought you said that you moved all your appointments to a later date so the two of us could be together?"

"That's true, but after what happened, I think that you could use a bit of time for reflection."

This pissed him off, "If they're having difficulties, then I'm sure they can handle it themselves. You don't need to waste time on them."

As she exited the building she only hummed in response. She would not back down from this fight. Anakin only started at the retreating figure of his wife as he thought how everything went wrong in just the span of a few hours.

* * *

Wearing a cloak to disguise her real identity, Padme entered the shady bar in search of the person whom she was looking for. It was not that she lied to her husband per se, but it was more of an omission.

Spotting the person she had in mind, she walk briskly towards him and sat at the seat directly next to him. Seeing his haggard face, worn, weary and grief stricken made her heart twist in sympathy for the man.

Seeing the great Obi-Wan Kenobi in a less than spectacular environment, drinking himself to oblivion is not how most people pictured the heroic jedi master. But here he was doing just that.

"Obi-Wan," she called to him softly.

There was no response. She tried again, louder.

"Obi-Wan."

This time he stirred and slowly turned to face her, confusion etching his face until slow recognition filled his features.

"You shouldn't be here," was his only reply, slightly slurred.

"Oh, Obi-Wan, I'm so sorry."

"What do you have to be sorry for?"

"It's-it's Anakin, he's not right at the moment. I'm sure after some time has passed that he'll feel terrible about how he acted and what he said."

A very undignified sound came from the jedi master, "I'm quite sure that he meant every word."

Padme refused to acknowledge his statement. "It's just...," she then admitted the truth. "I honestly don't know what's gotten into him. His behavior is very...peculiar."

With a raised eyebrow he asked ," and you think I haven't noticed that. He added bitterly, "That man I raised since he was a boy."

"Something is wrong with him, and it's not just how he is right now. It's even affecting how he's thinking! I swear, something's not right."

A sardonic laugh escaped the drunk jedi, "something always seems to be wrong with the man, that's what makes him so-so Anakin."

Padme had no way of denying that.

"Yes, but he said something strange this morning. While we were spending time together," this admission brought a slight flush to Obi-Wan cheeks. Choosing to ignore the observation Padme continued on, "He said that I was here, and that I had returned to him after fifteen years." looking him straight in the eye she said seriously, "Obi-Wan, Anakin and I have only known each other for the most thirteen years. He even said that everyone he knew was dead. That he was all alone. I feel that something terrible is about to happen and we have no clue about what. You can guess who is most definitely going to be involved."

"Hmm, now this I haven't heard of before."

Nodding she ploughed forth, " I feel as if the pieces of the puzzle are all here, but at the same time missing. We don't have the full picture. Until we do, we have to be very careful about how we act around Anakin."

"Assuming he even wants to see me?"

"He will, I'm sure he'll come around eventually."

"Eventually," the jedi master rolled his eyes.

"He will, Just sooner...or later."

"We'll then we'll have to hope for the former," he said almost sarcastically.

"I'll see what else I can find out, meet me in my office the day after tomorrow at noon. Make sure no one knows."

Obi-Wan agreed with the plan.

Getting up to leave, she turned and asked almost shyly. "Did you...have you told the council anything yet?"

He shook his head no.

"Are you going to?"

Obi-Wan sighed in what sounded like defeat. "I honestly don't know. By right and my duty, I should. But with this whole mess and with the war going on, I don't think it would be the wisest course of action. I just don't know."

"I...see." giving the jedi master a sad smile she spoke, "Obi-Wan, I'm sorry to have put you in this position. Truth be told, before Anakin started to act like this he did want to tell you, but he didn't want you to have to choose between your friendship with him and your duty as a jedi. He didn't want that to come between the two of you."

"Well, if this issue is resolved then we might see about that."

"When this issue _is_ resolved, then we shall."

Resting a hand firmly on the strong shoulders of the older man she chided almost motherly, "Go back to the temple and get some rest. Do you need some help getting back?"

he absently shook his head. 'No, no, I'm alright. I'd like to stay here for a while longer."

"Okay, do make it back in one piece. I'm sure the morning after won't be a very pleasant one."

A dry chuckle left Obi-Wan's lips, "I don't really care at the moment."

Nodding she left him alone with his glass as he stared it down, then pressed it to his lips and felt the cool burn enter his throat down to the pit of his stomach.


	10. Confessions

Quietly as possible, she entered her apartment, letting the door slide shut with a soft thud. There was no sound as the room was pitch black.

Good, he wasn't aware of her return. Creeping into her bedroom she went to discard her cloak when a voice made her jump in surprise.

"And just where did you go that required you to be away for such a long period of time?"

Bracing herself, she turned to face him steeling her face into her so called 'senatorial mask'.

"The meeting required more time that I had intended to give. I'm sorry if I've worried you."

Taking a step closer he questioned, "Who did you meet with?"

She thought fast, "Anakin, I'm sorry but I can't tell you that kind of information."

"And why no-"

"He told me to keep this confidential. You know how it is with these cases of assassination looming over senators heads, some aren't as brave or adept as others when it comes to these kinds of things."

"And keeping this from a jedi, a jedi protector is dangerous?"

Padme shot him her most sincere apologetic look, "I'm sorry, love, but I can't. It's the same with you and the council at times. I'm sure you would understand?"

Anakin scowled but didn't press further on the topic...for now.

Smiling at the confrontation avoided Padme took his hand, "Come, let's have tea in the veranda. We haven't done that in a while."

* * *

Obi-Wan awoke to an obnoxious pounding in his head. The dry and stale texture and foul taste in his mouth was revolting which he immediately wanted gone but couldn't find it in himself to move.

Getting up was not an option at the moment.

Groaning as the small slits that were his eyes opened to a blinding light, he shut them immediately while seeing stars in his closed lids.

He just laid like that for a while. How long, he didn't know. What he did know was that his head was killing him. Badly.

Groggily getting up, he gingerly stretched as he sat up and nearly bowled over as he got into sitting position.

_uururgggg_ was all his mind could process.

This is going to be a long morning.

Suddenly he thought that the last drink wasn't such a good idea. Or the other three that he last had before he had lost count.

_I need caf_ he thought desperately. After a quick whiff of himself he considered a bath to be a good option as well.

So he went, albeit, very slowly, and did just that.

After much time, Obi-Wan finally felt good enough to venture out of his room for some quiet meditation in the room of a thousand fountains. Unfortunately, fate had other matters in hand.

Along the way he encountered Mace Windu, who Obi-Wan was hoping to avoid at all cost within this critical time. Mace had a tendency to be rather...rough when it came to Skywalker as Obi-Wan liked to put it. The two just seemed to rub each other the wrong way.

"Master Kenobi." the stoic Korun master greeted.

"Master Windu."

Blunt as always, Mace cut straight to his concern, mainly being whenever present-Skywalker. As usual.

"Has Knight Skywalker reported in or even turned up last night in the temple."

Still suffering from a mind-splitting headache, Obi-Wan's legendary patience and polite demeanor was severely dampened causing him to almost bite out "No, why don't you find out yourself." Almost.

But he kept it to himself and instead did what he found to be doing more and more often, lying for his former apprentice. "Yes, he did come in last night, but left again. I'm afraid that the stress of the war is finally getting to him. He left early this morning. To where I am not sure, but it's most likely something suicidal like those races he's so fond of. You know how he is."

Mace Windu didn't look at all convinced at the excuse Obi-Wan was providing but didn't comment further. "I do, but I know that you know him better than all of us combined. If he really is suffering, call him to council to determine the amount of rest time he is required from the war."

"I'll do just that."

With a curt bow, Obi-Wan was off again heading towards his original destination.

_Oh force, I hope that was the right thing...lying like that. So un-jedi like_ Obi-Wan thought with an inward sigh. But anything un-jedi like always related back to one person.

Anakin.

* * *

They had a rather uneventful day following the real so called 'exciting events' which led to the Anakin alienating Obi-Wan from his life. It was now close to noon time on the day that Padme was to meet Obi-Wan.

Anakin had yet to embrace Padme with all the fervor of his usual candor which both concerned and annoyed his wife.

He was acting as if she was his whole world and love (She most definitely was), but at the same time she felt like she was a delicate priceless ornament that was meant for nothing more than to be looked upon and adored. She was starting to feel loved as an object, not a person. But Anakin didn't realize that. Padme just wished this whole issue would vanish and be gone. To go back to their already complicated lives, but lives that were still far better than the one she was living in now, or any other person connected to Anakin for that matter.

It was almost time to meet up with Obi-Wan again, but what excuse would she give her husband this time? He was already suspicious enough. The last thing she wanted from him was to find out that she was meeting Obi-Wan behind his back.

What would he think if that were to happen?

The results would be catastrophic.

Her schedule was relatively free which was entirely her doing. She had thought that prior to discovering Anakin's unusual behavior, was to be time well spent with her husband. Now it was time that was almost awkward emotionally while both seem to like the façade of normalcy on the outside.

It wasn't working. The lines were beginning to strain and show.

Padme just didn't know how long this happy image would last.

Thinking of the man himself, he appeared out one of her rooms she kept spare for his things, such as his tools for when he liked to tinker. He was doing that a lot lately.

There were many instances when Anakin liked to tinker. The main reasons were either if he was frustrated or in a thinking mood.

Padme hoped it was the latter.

Opting to just depart and leave it to fate to see how it turned out, Padme quietly stepped toward the exit.

Unfortunately Anakin caught sight.

And he knew she had no where immediate to go to.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm meeting with a friend." Again, not the full truth but rather an omission.

"Do I know this 'friend'?"

"Yes, but I wouldn't really call you two friends, more like...acquaintances." It hurt for Padme to say that.

"Can I come?"

"No!" She said a bit too quickly and forcefully. Trying to save herself she added more calmly, "I'm afraid you'll be bored out of your mind if you come. I know you hate politics."

"You're wasting your day off to talk about politics? Didn't you reschedule to _avoid_ politics for the day?"

Now this was the part that was hardest for Padme, and it killed her to say it but it was the honest truth that would enable her to meet with Obi-Wan and maybe, just maybe, help Anakin.

"Anakin, I don't want to say this, but I feel the need to now. This-this rift that's formed between us, I don't like it. I feel like some sort of object that you love and adore, but not as a person. Force! Anakin! You don't touch me or love me like you use to. Am I not beautiful or attractive to you anymore? Are you bored of me?"

_What? How could she think that?_ Bored of Padme? She thought she wasn't beautiful to him? She was the most beautiful god sent angel he had ever met!

Was he really driving them apart unknowingly?

"I need a break. I'm sorry, but I need to figure this out. It's getting out of hand, Anakin."

Cold fear clenched Anakin's heart.

She was leaving him. Padme no longer wanted him. She didn't love him any longer. She was going for someone better, someone who loved her more.

_Who could love her more than me?_

Obviously someone who didn't try to kill her. Anakin tried not to physically wince at that thought.

He then choked out, afraid of what he would hear, but needing to hear the truth. "Are-are you leaving me? Do you not love me anymore...Am I not enough for you now?"

Padme could only look on in horror. How did this gap between them escalate so far that he could even think that!

Of course she loved him still! With her every being!

"No, Anakin, No, no, no, no! That's not it. That would never be it. I love you. You know that and I always will. It's just that I need some time to figure this all out." walking right in front of him and grabbing his face gently in her hands she soothed," I want to fix this between us, and I just need a little time, that's all. Like I said before, I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

Shakily, Anakin nodded in as he sank into her embrace. After a few moments of comfortable silence that was not felt in ages, they parted. Padme almost regretted letting him go, but she needed to be off to be on time for her meeting. It was for a good purpose.

Smiling softly to him Padme left the penthouse apartment and headed to her office.

* * *

Before Padme had arrived to the office, she had informed her secretary to let in any man wearing jedi robes but not to record any presence known. Elise had been Padme's secretary long enough to be trusted with these kinds of secrets so Padme left it to her faithful subordinate while she waited.

It took only a few minutes of waiting before he appeared at her office door. With his hood up, face covered, no one knew who he was except for the obvious jedi garbs he wore.

Removing the hood, there stood Obi-Wan, but not as glorious as the holo tabloids showed him to be. He had large bags under his eyes as they looked tired and resigned. His hair which was always impeccable was slightly ruffled, not that uncommon nowadays, but still unsettling to see. The most noticeable was his overgrown beard.

Obi-Wan Kenobi had a reputation for his well kept and bold beard which he proudly wore and took care of. It seems that the night before the last took more of a toll than Padme had expected. That or the hurtful accusation and remarks made by her husband still haunted the man in front of her.

"Obi-Wan," she greeted.

"Senator."

"Come now, Obi-Wan, we're talking amongst friends. There is no need for formality."

"Sorry," he said sheepishly, "Old habits die hard." He then turned serious, "now, we didn't come for pleasantries. Was there anything else that was unusual about him in the time since we parted."

Padme knew exactly who he was referring to. "Well," she began, "He hasn't touched me yet."

This took the jedi master off guard.

"Excuse me?"

Blushing, Padme tried to explain, "As you know, Anakin is a very deep and...emotional man. He loves people, sometimes to the extreme." Padme could see the pink tint on Obi-Wan's cheeks start to appear as he caught on what she meant. "Whenever we have time alone together, well, let's say we don't do much talking in the beginnings."

That last sentence got a rather comical expression from the Jedi master who was always deemed as cool and collected. Padme thought that it would have been funny had this situation not been so serious and important.

"I find that he treats me as if I'm some porcelain doll that he adore and loves, but that's just it. Compared to in the past, not to overstate, but he practically worshiped me and showered me with love. Now, it's like he's almost afraid of holding me or even get too close to me, much less anyone else for that matter."

Obi-Wan took a moment to digest this piece of information. The over loving part sounded very Anakin, but from what Obi-Wan had caught glimpses and sneak peeks of in the past, it did sound rather strange for Anakin not to take the initiative to be with his wife.

"I've thought a bit about what you said that Anakin said to you in that morning. The one about it being fifteen years. Do you know anything about it?"

"No, do you?"

"I've had some time to mediate on the information you've given me after I...recovered from that night and something tells me that it's all connected through the force. It's like the force is the cause of all of this."

"I thought the jedi believed the force to be the cause of all things?" Padme questioned.

"Yes, but this is different. It's as if the force is _specifically_ involved in this situation, and it's not informing me to anything more than what we know so far, which is all the slip-ups and oddities that Anakin exhibits. Everything is so elusive at the moment."

Padme couldn't stop the sigh that escaped her lips. Obi-Wan knew what she felt all too well. Both were concerned about the person in question, but were no further to solving this puzzling case.

"Then I guess this meeting is over. There is nothing more to discuss," Obi-Wan said in defeat. "I wish I could provide more help, but with how he feels about me now...it's not likely I'll be getting anything useful."

Pity wormed it's way in Padme's heart and she tried to assure him, "It'll get better. We've all seem to hit rock bottom, the only way to go now is up."

"I hope your right," he said as he turned to leave.

Just as he was about to open the door to exit he looked back and said unexpected words that filled him with gratitude and love for the man that was her close friend.

"I've decided not to tell the council anything. I'll keep it for as long as I can, that I can promise. But if they ask me directly, I will not lie to them."

Smiling a truly genuine smile she thanked him as he left. "Obi-Wan, thank you. Truly, thank you. You've been far better of a friend than Anakin or I have ever deserved. Thank you."

Nodding he only replied, "Think nothing of it, you have always been a good friend and Anakin...Anakin had always been my family, a brother and son to me. I just regret finally acknowledging it now when it's too late."

With those solemn words, the Jedi master left.

* * *

He knew this was bad. Mistrustful. A blatant disrespect for privacy, but he had to know.

Who was Padme meeting?

Was it some stuffy, boring senator that she was being truthful about earlier, or someone else? Someone much more interesting to her with good looks and a charming smile.

Shaking his head of that horrible thought he continued to trail after his wife.

Anakin didn't want to do this, but if he didn't, the curiosity would kill him. Besides, if this was all as she said it was, she would never know, so no harm would be done.

Padme continued to steer her ship towards the senate. Good, just as she said she would be meeting.

Anakin at the moment felt bad and hypocritical as he was stowed secretly away in his wife's sleek Nubian ship. Bad, for obvious reason of lying and hiding. Hypocritical, well, it was the same way Obi-Wan had snuck into her ship before **_**it**_** had happened.

The ship started the landing sequence and was seated at her private docking bay moments later. The ramp opened up to reveal the immaculate and beautiful senator Amidala in all her conservative regalia.

Padme headed straight for her office as she said.

Anakin was beginning to think that this personal mission of his was wasted time. After all, nothing was out of the ordinary.

But then ****he**** appeared.

Concealed in the usual Jedi garbs, no one could mistake the presence of the jedi. A jedi who so happened to want his identity hidden from sights. A jedi who Anakin could spot and identify parsecs away with one glance.

Obi-Wan Kenobi.

So Padme was meeting Obi-Wan behind his back.

His own ****wife**** was meeting with his enemy.

_Why?_ Was the only question Anakin could process.

Then it dawned on him. Was it really how he had mistaken it the first time round. The time when he had attacked his wife thinking that she had sided with his former mentor/friend turned adversary. Was she meeting with him in secret for some hidden affair?

But she had said that she loved him, cherished him and wouldn't leave him.

Then why was she doing this behind his back?

Accusations and confusion swarmed the Anakin's head combining into a mass of jumbled, broken, incoherent and desperate thoughts.

It was too much to take in.

The fact that his wife was in the same room as ****him**** doing force knows what did wonders to his renowned temper.

But Anakin refused to believe that his wife had betrayed him. She couldn't!

Not after all those years of guilt when he had acted on what he had _though_ occurred.

But what if it did?

Just as his mind could get any more chaotic, said adversary opened the door.

The door was just slightly opened, but from what Anakin could see there was a dark saddened expression covering the man's face.

Nothing looked out of place. And by what Anakin meant was the things ****he**** usually did in there with his wife when he came unannounced and hidden. If they did, there were no signs, but by Obi-Wan's look, he highly doubted it.

Anakin strained his ears from his carefully hidden vintage point, and barely caught the last few words uttered by the jedi master and his wife, but what he heard shocked him to the core.

"I've decided not to tell the council anything. I'll keep it for as long as I can, that I can promise. But if they ask me directly, I will not lie to them."

Sounding elated and grateful Padme responded, "Obi-Wan, thank you, truly, thank you. You've been far better of a friend than Anakin or I have ever deserved. Thank you."

"Think nothing of it, you have always been a good friend and Anakin...Anakin had always been my family, a brother and son to me. I just regret finally acknowledging it now when it's too late."

Then the man left.

Anakin could only stand in the shadows mulling over what he had overheard.

There was much to think about this whole event.

And many questions to ask.

* * *

Padme felt and heard the tell-tale signs of stiffness as she cricked and cracked her neck to the side to release some tension.

Though it had been a short discussion, it had been intense.

The last words spoken by Obi-Wan almost made Padme's heart cry out in anguish about the pain her friend was in. He didn't deserve any of this, and yet he was doing all he could to help.

Checking the chrono, it was time to go home.

It wasn't too late which was good. Coming back after too long might rouse suspicion from Anakin like the last time and Padme didn't want that.

Traveling the distance to her starship, Padme boarded and departed the senate buildings unaware of the unknown stowaway in her ship.


	11. Guilt

Reaching home at night, Padme was thoroughly exhausted. Though she didn't do much, the emotional strain of the past few days were finally taking its toll on her body.

Now she had to approach her husband and begin another grueling tug-of-war with the conflict that he ignored and she tried in vain to mend. Sighing again, she entered her apartment complex and headed straight for the kitchenette to brew a much need cup of tea to relax her nerves.

Doing just that it took her a while to finally realize that it was too quiet.

Where was Anakin?

Was he busy tinkering with Force knows what? It he was, there would have been faint clinks and clanks now and then.

There hadn't been any since she arrived home.

Strange.

"Anakin!" Padme called out in the apartment. There was nothing, then all of a sudden a very rushed looking Anakin appeared slightly out of breath.

"Yes?" He answered.

Her brows knit together in confusion. "What were you doing?" She asked.

He thought fast, "Um, training."

"At night?"

"I do train at nights, it's just not often, especially now in the war and all. I didn't really want to built or make anything."

Strange.

Anakin not wanting to tinker was a big giveaway that something was wrong. Or very serious.

Anakin had just realized the same thing as well.

"Anakin," she drawled his name out. "Don't lie to me. You know I hate it when you lie to me."

He couldn't help it. It rushed out of his mouth before he had any time to think about what he was saying, "Well how about you!"

"What about me?" She asked confused.

But he was on a roll. "Don't pretend you don't know! I saw you, With Obi-Wan."

Padme gasped in shock, then it quickly turned to anger. "You were following me."

_Oops_ was all Anakin could mentally think. He had blew it. Probably a new record, he was horrible with these kinds of things.

"Yes, and I'm glad I did. You say you hate lying, but you're a hypocrite! You lied to me! About seeing Obi-Wan. He's not our friend, he's our enemy and he can't be trusted."

"No, Anakin. He's ****your**** enemy. Force, he's not even that. This is just one big messed up 'whose fault is who' game right now. I'm sick of it. Yes, Anakin, I went to see him." He was about to speak but she cut him off before he could get a word in edgewise. "If you have any thoughts of an affair or anything of that kind, get rid of it, immediately! And don't give me that look, I know how prone you are to your insecurities and accusations. We just talked."

"About what?"

"You," she said simply.

"Me?"

She sighed. She was going to need more tea. "Yes, you. You may not be able to comprehend that Obi-Wan cares for you, Anakin. He loves you. And I'm sure you might have known that all along but are too stubborn to realize that."

The last words he heard from Obi-Wan came back to him.

_"Think nothing of it, you have always been a good friend and Anakin...Anakin had always been my family, a brother. I just regret finally acknowledging it now when it's too late."_

_But that means nothing...does it?_ Anakin tried in vain to convince himself.

"You were spying on me, what did you hear?"

"Nothing," He lied. luckily she didn't buy it.

"Really, Cause I could have sworn you paused when I said that he cared for you. You heard what he said before he left didn't you?"

The silence exhibited from Anakin said it all.

Padme sighed once more. She seemed to be doing this more and more nowadays.

"Anakin, can't you see your feelings have been mislead?"

More silence.

"I know you hate being wrong, but why can't you accept it this time for once."

"Because if I do it might turn out like the last time and that absolutely must not happen."

Now it was Padme's turn to be silent. It was another tidbit of information that Anakin gave away, but about what?

"Turn out like what?" She asked slowly, as if to a startled animal that may flee at any moment.

But he ignored her and passed her to make himself a cup to tea. This was distressing. Anakin was avoiding this topic like a plague and it did not sit well with her. At all. She didn't want to do this, but it was the ultimatum. Padme knew that Anakin needed Obi-Wan in his life. He just couldn't do without the man, and neither could Padme.

"Anakin, " she called firmly.

He turned just as he was pouring the hot liquid into his cup.

"If you don't talk to Obi-Wan, it's over." She had done it. Now it was time to see how it played out.

Anakin thought he had misheard. Clearly he had misheard. Hadn't he?

"What?"

"You heard me, if you don't talk to Obi-Wan like a civilized person, I'm through with you. It's over."

Anakin didn't register that the cup was now filled to the brim and spilling over his cup. That was trivial compared to this.

She promised.

"Why?"

Padme's heart felt heavy with regret for saying such a thing, but it was necessary. And most importantly, temporary.

"You said, You-you promised that you wouldn't leave, you said-" and just like that he broke down into a desperate heap. "Don't leave me! You promised. I can do better!"

"Then talk to Obi-Wan. That's all I'm asking."

"Why are you making me do this?" Was Anakin's pain filled question.

"Because it's what you need. Think about it carefully. I'm serious."

And she left him there standing with the now forgotten cup of now cool tea, feeling rejected, cold, and conflicted.

* * *

It was times like these that Obi-Wan resented being part of the council. These tedious meeting that went nowhere with meaningless debates.

As of right now the council was currently debating whether or not to pull back forces on Dantooine or to send in more reinforcements. Obi-Wan knew that this was important, but his heart and mind was just not in it.

All he could think about was one person. The one he loved the most who hated him the most. The worst part was that he didn't know why.

Oh, the irony.

Was it because of his mother? That he ignored Anakin's dreams when they were much more.

Obi-Wan had felt terrible that he had let Anakin's premonitions slide away without much care but he had no idea that it was just that; a vision of what was to come.

Had Anakin's resentment of that incident manifest all those years until it was to its breaking point?

Somehow the jedi master doubted it.

"Master kenobi, troubles you, what does?"

Snapping back into the meeting, Obi-Wan felt a faint blush at loosing focus in a critical meeting. "Nothing, Master Yoda, Carry on."

The wizen old jedi looked on at Obi-Wan then turned and continued as per normal.

Obi-wan sighed in relief, but also in chagrin. He had caught the attention of the second person he had wanted to avoid the most. Yoda would most likely want a word with Obi-Wan after this meeting was over. And there was no avoiding it.

_Please let this be over quickly_ Obi-wan sighed inwardly at the long and grueling meeting.

* * *

Anakin paced back and forth in the Veranda. It was now nighttime and Anakin had yet to approach his wife with a decision.

Why-How could she do this to him? Make him choose one of the two hardest decisions in his life.

He couldn't lose Padme. Losing her to this cause may be even worst that losing her in death. Because it was ****her**** choice to leave him. He couldn't allow it. Not after this chance he was given.

"Is it really that difficult to make the obvious choice?" A familiar voice echoed.

Anakin spun on his heel to see the ethereal blue hue of the long dead jedi, Qui-Gon Jinn.

"Qui-Gon," he greeted.

"Anakin. I see you've made quite a...mess out of your second chance."

Anakin scowled. _What did he know?_

"I know that you're purposely avoiding all the most important aspects because you are too closed off and narrow-minded to see the bigger picture."

"Did you just-"

"Read your mind, yes, it appears to be more open than you expected at the moment." Adding more seriously, "It's not a very hard choice to make. Even you yourself know what the right thing to do."

"No I-"

"Excuses, excuses, Anakin. Your pride from the past and even now eclipses the need to do the right thing. Admit it, you're lost. Helpless. You need help, Anakin. Obi-Wan's help."

Anakin took a moment to put this all into consideration. He really-no- ** **hated**** to admit it, but this pitfall in his and Obi-Wan's relationship was doing all sorts of disasters in his life.

_Do I really need the man in my life so much_?

"Yes, after all, a son needs a father, as a brother needs his brother." Strolling around the younger man in a casual manner Qui-Gon spoke, "think of all the things he had done for you in the past, all the things he didn't need to do, but still did so."

"But he never wanted to take me in."

"Not at first. But the bond you two share is something that cannot be replicated easily. It's one of a kind." Looking at the younger man knowingly he asked, "tell me, can you form that kind of strong, solid bond because of an obligation, or is it one out of love and friendship?" The ethereal jedi continued "yes, he may not have wanted you, maybe even resented you in the past, but not now, and most likely never will."

Making sure that Qui-Gon had Anakin's direct eye contact he spoke very slowly these four words, "Not to his son."

"He's not my father."

"One does not need to be family just by being bonded by blood. Simply sharing a connection is enough. Is it not the same with you and your wife?"

Anakin had nothing to say to that.

"Think about it, and Anakin, learn to let your mind guide you, not your pride."

And the older deceased jedi vanished.

Anakin was once more left alone.

But only now, he had a lot more to think about. And think he did.

* * *

_Finally_ the meeting was over. He could leave and maybe go back to his room and sulk some more.

Obi-Wan knew it was pitiful, but he couldn't help it. Never before had something so small hurt him so much.

"Obi-Wan, A word with you, I would like." That stopped him in his tracks.

Oh, great. This was what he was dreading.

"Troubled you seem." Yoda spoke behind him.

He tried to lie, "It's just the war. I find that sooner or later it's going to get us all. Some harder than others."

"Mmmm, Heard about Skywalker, I have."

_Damn Windu_!

"But troubles you, war does not. Something else it seems, hmmm?"

Should he tell? or lie some more? He had to make a choice.

"No, not that I know of. Maybe I'm just tired is all." And lie it is. So much for honesty and truth of a jedi.

Yoda gave him a skeptical look but said nothing more.

That alone made Obi-Wan cheer up considerably.

Just as Yoda was hobbling away he turned and spoke up, "When ready you are, talk you shall." And the small, green alien was gone.

With nothing to do, and in no mood for socializing, Obi-Wan made his way back to his quarters for some quiet meditation.

Once he reached his door, he quietly slipped inside and search for a suitable spot for his mediation. Finding his favorite spot by the wide and bright window of Coruscant, Obi-Wan sat crossed-legged and took a deep breath as he closed his eyes.

Then his comm chimed.

Glaring at the offending piece of object in distain, Obi-Wan ignore it until it became silent.

There was silence once more...until the comm chimed again.

Obi-Wan chose to be stubborn this once and not pick up the call. Maybe the person calling would finally get the hint after not receiving a reply.

He was wrong. Groaning in frustration, Obi-Wan uncrossed his legs as he got up and headed for his still ringing comm.

"Kenobi here," he said curtly. The faster he get this done the faster he could be alone.

"Obi-Wan...This is Anakin."

Obi-Wan immediately perked up and was on full alert.

"Anakin, why are you-" But he shook his head, it didn't matter, "What's the matter?"

"We need...we need to talk. Can we meet up sometime?"

Obi-Wan immediately jumped at the opportunity.

"Yes," he tried again trying not to sound so excited, "Yes, when?"

"tomorrow, at Padme's in the afternoon for lunch. Is that okay?"

_It's more than okay! T_ hought Obi-wan gleefully.

"I'm available."

There was an awkward silence between the two before Anakin cut it off, "Good, Good, I'll, uh, see you then. Skywalker out."

This would be interesting.

And a new beginning.

* * *

"Obi-Wan...This is Anakin." He was doing it. He was making the call. After much thinking and lots of consideration, Qui-Gon was right. He needed to let go of his pride. But not all of it.

Obi-Wan immediately answered sounding surprised "Anakin, why are you-? What's the matter?" Anakin could hear the concern etched in the older man's voice and he felt his heart twinge at the thought. Had he really been that bad?

"We need...we need to talk. Can we meet up sometime?" He gulped, would he say no after everything that happened between them.

"Yes," Obi-Wan replied quickly, then much more calm and slower "Yes, when?" Anakin had to stop the urge to sigh in relief, this was going well.

"Tomorrow, at Padme's in the afternoon for lunch. Is that okay?" Anakin hadn't let Padme know anything, but he was sure she wouldn't mind. He would run the idea by her later.

"I'm available." That was good.

There was an awkward silence between the two before Anakin cut it off, "Good, Good, I'll uh, see you then. Skywalker out."

For the first time in a long time, Anakin felt something akin to Obi-Wan that he had not felt in years.

Fifteen years to be exact.

A gnawing, bitter and dark feeling he had before which he identified as the feeling of frustration and regret for not getting a suitable revenge. Bu that was not it.

No, it was something far deeper and much more personal.

It was guilt.

**Author's Note:**

> So? How did you guys like something I wrote when I was 14?


End file.
